DATING YOUR EX-LOVER - EX-BOYFRIEND, EX-GIRLFRIEND

As often as they are warned against it, sometimes ex’s do get back together. Re-dating someone you have been with before has its share of problems, and can sometimes end in disaster. However, re-dating your ex can mean that you were actually meant to be with one another, and can mean a fresh start for the both of you. Often, time apart shows how much you mean to each other, and rekindling lost love might be just what you need.

Before you decide to re-date your ex, a conversation should take place during which boundaries are set. You cannot simply pretend that this is the first go-round, and issues from your previous breakup(s) need to be addressed. Perhaps both of you have grown in your time apart, and that issue no longer stands between you, but that needs to be established before things get hot and heavy.

It is important to stay away from relationships that are doomed from the beginning. In other words, if you know it can’t work, don’t even head down that road. However, if you feel that a fresh beginning is possible, follow these tips for a more successful relationship.

1. Past is Past. I did say that you need to discuss issues from the past, but once they’ve been addressed, they should be stricken from the record. If you are unable to let go of things that have been said or done with your ex, then the possibility for re-dating goes right out the window. Instead, agree that past is past, and that you are going to move on from a fresh, open-minded perspective.

2. Look for Signs. If you’ve been with your ex before, then you know the signs that things aren’t going the way they should. Although you should not constantly be accusing your ex of behaviors that led to the relationship’s demise, you should also not ignore signs that things are headed asunder. Protecting yourself should be your utmost priority, even if re-dating your ex seems like a good idea.

3. Give the Benefit of the Doubt. In somewhat contradiction to rule #2, it is important to give your ex the benefit of the doubt. It is human nature to be wary when re-dating your ex, but don’t let it rule your new relationship. Instead, be open and honest about concerns, and make sure they are addressed sufficiently before moving on.

4. Be Careful of Fights. All couples argue, whether you are re-dating or not, so don’t expect a smooth ride free of breakers. Sometimes you’ll fight, and this is to be expected, but never throw old arguments into the face of your partner. You might be re-dating your ex, but that doesn’t mean he or she deserves to be punished for sins of the past.