Showing posts with label Marriage Counselor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage Counselor. Show all posts

Sunday, February 13, 2011

HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

Long-distance relationships can be extremely hard. Not only is it difficult because you can not see or talk to your partner as frequently as usual, but practically everyone you meet will have a horror story about how a long-distance relationship failed for them. I once read that absence diminishes small love and increases great ones. Keep this in mind when you are going through rough times. If you have not yet committed to a long-distance relationship and are contemplating it, know that it is a huge commitment. Make sure that you really love the other person and that it is worth it for you to make certain sacrifices. Below are some guidelines to make it work.
1. Be honest about what you expect from each other.  Do you want the freedom to date other people? Are you comfortable with your partner making friends with the opposite sex? Are you going to try the long-distance thing out and stick with it if it seems to work, but not try to force the relationship? Discuss these things with your partner and be honest about your expectations. This way, everything is out in the open and it will lessen the suspicions you have about the other person. Also, you never have to question if you are crossing a boundary.
2. Coordinate your schedules. Be realistic about the time commitment you can give each other. If it works for both of your schedules, plan on talking at a particular time at night. However, this can place stress on you if you end up wanting to go out with friends and your long-distance partner is not understanding about your need to be social and branch out, or gets jealous of the time you spend with other people. No matter what, try to keep in touch daily through phone calls, E-mail, AIM, or other means. Download Skype, net2phone, or phonefree. Its free to talk online if you both download programs like these ... no matter where you are. Also, consider a web cam for a more personal connection.
3. Make plans in advance to see each other in person.  If you set firm dates to see each other and stick to them, it makes the wait less difficult because you can spend time planning outings with your partner and looking forward to seeing them. When you mutually agree on certain times to see each other, it lessens problems that can arise from one person feeling like they are pressuring the other into seeing them and the other feeling like the are too busy and are pushing away from the relationship because of the pressure.
4. Arrange to participate in long-distance activities together. Meet online to play games against each other or watch a television show at the same time. Also, try “virtual dates” Send you partner an E-mail describing a place (for example, a beach) and a time (dusk). Ask them to describe what kind of date they would have with your in this setting ,what you would wear, talk about, eat, what activities you would take part in, etc. Doing little activities like this together helps you to reconnect and remember the day-to-day fun you used to have.
5. Do not make issues larger than they actually are. In long-distance relationships, communication can be very difficult. Avoid fighting over small issues ... with the communication barriers, these small things can turn into big fights. Agree to disagree when it looks like you aren’t making any progress. In these types of relationships, you are bound to have feelings of uncertainty and doubt. Don’t make any drastic changes unless you are absolutely positive that things aren’t working. Threatening to break up every time you two are going through a rough patch wont help the situation at all, particularly if you aren’t serious about ending it. Do communicate honestly about problems that you are having with the long-distance situation, but do it in a manner that is constructive and problem-solving.
6. Surprise them. Send flowers or chocolates to your partner’s office. For an extra-special treat, Fed-Ex them food from their favorite restaurant back home. Send cards for no reason and E-mails just to let them know that you are thinking about them.
7. Share the details of your life. Talk about the little things that happen in your day. Keep your partner informed about what you are up to at work and socially. Call your partner for advice. When you had the chance to spend more time together, you talked about these things, right? It will help maintain a sense of normalcy and a sense of trust between the two of you.
8. Focus on the future. A long-distance relationship will not work forever. Make plans to live in the same city as soon as possible. Ambiguity about the future will add tension and doubt.
9. Never assume the worst. If your partner is late calling you one day or you hear someone else’s voice in the background, ask them what is going on before flying into a fit of rage and accusing them of being unfaithful. If you can’t get a hold of them, call a friend instead and distract yourself. No matter what, don’t stress over it.
10. Meet your partner’s friends and have your partner meet your friends.  It will help you have more trust in the relationship if you develop mutual friends who can reassure you when you are having doubts. Although you don’t want to have to turn to someone else to solve all of your problems, it can definitely be beneficial to have someone else there to assuage your fears.

MARRIAGE CAN CURE DEPRESSION

With apologies to about thousands of stand up comedians, marriage may be the cure for depression, rather than the cause of it.
In fact, researchers say, people who experience depression before they get married are the most likely to get emotional health benefits from marriage.
Using a depression scale whose scores ranged from zero to 84, the researchers found that the scores of depressed people went down by almost 8 points after marriage, while those who weren't depressed had just under a 2-point drop after marriage.
Even the study authors were surprised by their findings. "We thought people who were depressed would be less likely to benefit from marriage than others," said study co-author Kristi Williams, an assistant professor of sociology at Ohio State University in Columbus. "We thought depression would put a strain on the marriage."
Williams and her co-author, Adrianne Frech, a doctoral student at Ohio State, presented the results of their study August. 13 at the annual meeting of the American Sociological Association, in Montreal.
This research comes on the heels of another study that found that people who never marry had a greater chance of dying early than people who were married. In fact, people who'd never married had an even higher risk of early death than people who were divorced, separated or widowed, suggesting that marriage confers some sort of health benefit, even if it doesn't work out.
Using data from the National Survey of Families and Households, the Ohio State researchers gathered information on more than 3,000 people who were single at the start of the study in 1987-88. The survey participants were interviewed again sometime between 1992 and 1994.
To assess whether or not people were depressed, they were asked 12 questions, such as how many days in the past week they "felt like they could not shake off the blues, "felt lonely," or "slept restlessly."
About 29 percent were depressed at the start of the study, according to Williams.
During the second part of the study, they gathered information on who had gotten married and reassessed depression.
Williams said at that time, 30 percent of those who remained unmarried were depressed, while only 26 percent of those who got married were depressed.
The researchers found that those who were depressed seemed to gain the most mental health benefits from getting married, with depressed people enjoying nearly a six-point higher reduction in their depression scores after marriage than non-depressed people.
"We actually found the opposite of what we expected. We thought depressed people would be less likely to benefit from marriage because the depression of one spouse can put a strain on the marriage and undermine marital quality," Frech said in a prepared statement.
As to why depressed people may enjoy more benefits from matrimony, Williams theorized, "We think that depressed people may have more to gain from the emotional support and close intimate ties that come with marriage."
That doesn't mean people who aren't depressed won't have happy marriages, Williams quickly added: "If you start out happy, you don't have as far to go."
The findings don't mean that depressed people should substitute marriage for depression treatment either, she said.
"This was just an average association," said Williams. "We're not saying that depressed individuals should run out and get married."
"Clearly, one should not look upon these results as recommending that depressed people should get married," said Dr. Charles Goodstein, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine in New York City. "The likelihood is strong that such a marriage might fall apart."
But, he added, these study results suggest that depressed people stand to gain more from marriage. "At the very least, the depressed person gets the sense that there's someone who cares about them."
However, Goodstein also pointed out that this particular survey may not accurately assess depression.
"Depression is a much more complicated matter than can be diagnosed on a survey. There is such a wide range of what we call depression, and many people can pass through society without being seen as depressed," he said.
Williams agreed that the survey used in this study can't be used to diagnose individual depression, but said it was designed to give an estimate of depression in a community population.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

How To get Your Ex Back – When You Know Its Time

You know its time to work on saving your relationship when you see several of these issues:

- Constant arguing
- Making excuses for them
- When people ask you if you if your partner still loves you and you need a moment to think about it

Love is a 2 ways street and perhaps you’re just not happy with the love you have right now. Seems like every song played on the radio reminds you of how your relationship used to be and its so clear its probably over.

So ask yourself if you’re happy with the way things are heading?

If no then keep reading.

Having to ask yourself this question probably means your going through some tuff times emotionally. Things are not looking so good and you may be heading down the path where you will be looking to learn how to get your ex back if you’re not careful. When you get to this point it usually means one of a few things: Try to get your ex back and rekindle the relationship on your own, Ask for expert advice, or read respected material that help couples get back together and reunite.

But how do you really know when its time to get help? Maybe he or she has not moved out yet but you know things are just about lost with each other. You realize you need to learn how to win them back before its too late. But this is difficult when you’re the only one making an effort. Love is give and take.

But things do not have to be like this. Getting the right guidance before its too late is a very smart thing to do. Getting expert advice that helps you get things back to where they were. Relationship help from an expert is going to be expensive. Taking this on by yourself although seems like the right choice, but is the most risky thing you can do.  Reading material with effective strategies to get back an ex or save a relationship that comes in the form of an ebook seems to be the frugal smart thing to do.

Statistics show that most people who attempt to rekindle a fizzled out relationship by themselves screw things up. So getting simple straight forward advice to get your ex back is not only smart but saves a lot on your pocket book.

So now is the time to make a good decision because what you have done to this point has not worked and letting the situation go much longer will likely blow any chance you ever had. Imagining your ex with someone else is a picture most people cannot handle. Can you see your lover in the arms of someone else?

Probably not…

So what should you do? Get an ebook that has a proven track record. Its that easy and that simple. We have done all the research for you so you don’t have to go and scour the internet for these “how to get your ex back” Books. We specialize in this stuff.

So if you can somehow take a step back and realize you need a little advice we would like to suggest an ebook that works. And its affordable. You wont spend $100 or even $50. $37 for a complete guide that walks you through all the steps from A to Z in how to get back with your ex and rekindle your lost love.

You will also get a 60 day money back guarantee. Its powerful to the point and effective. That’s pretty fair isn’t it? You care about your significant other right? Of course you do otherwise you would not have read this article to this point.

You CAN rekindle your lost love but you first need to make sure you get on the right track.

Please Go Here and read more about how this ebook can help you.

We hope you take this easy simple advice like thousands of others have. By accepting this help you now give yourself the BEST possible chance to get back with your lover and bring things back to where they once were.

How To Win Back Your Ex When Everything Else You Tried Has Failed

Why is it so confusing to try to get an ex back? Perhaps when you sought for help your best friend told you what to do. Or maybe you read some crappy advice Online somewhere.

Or perhaps you didn’t have a plan and aimlessly tried to get your ex back on your own not really knowing and understanding what you were doing? Now you are left feeling frustrated, confused, and desperate.

The answer that lies in how to get your ex back has two parts. First. You need to realize that once you have been dumped by your lover the balance of power has now shifted their way.

The second point is that most people including yourself has no idea what steps to take that leads your ex back in your arms again. You continuously do the wrong things pushing your ex further and further away from you. And now time is running out and they could be gone forever.

Truth be told, once your ex has the power in the relationship, or whats left of it, you will find yourself in a uphill battle. If your ex knows you are desperate to get them back what often happens is they will make you work for it and enjoy you working for it.

They know they have something you desperately want back and play with it even if they don’t maliciously do so. In some ways or forms they will put you through hell trying to get them back again.

So what can you do about it? To win back your ex you need to relax and take a step back. Play it cool and don’t wear all your feelings on your sleeve. Think about yourself right now, and not about what they want. Start to distance yourself a bit.

Keep yourself busy and focused on things that don’t have anything to do with your ex. Stop making yourself readily available to them and start to get some of the power back slowly. You need to appear as though you have other important things you are doing so avoid long conversations. Be polite and only chat for a couple minutes and say you have things to do.

Most people who try to make distance between their ex can’t do it. Instead they end up doing whatever their ex asks and remains in their control and mercy. You think that “If I show them how I feel by helping them out they will take me back”. This is actually incorrect.

You start to appear clingy and desperate, and this is a total turn off. So what do you need? You need a plan of action to quit making the same mistakes you’re making right now. Sooner or later you will lose your ex for good to someone else who is more challenging than you are.

Find a plan that works for you, and your situation not what worked for a friend of yours. This is about you and your ex not about someone Else’s relationship. Once you have found this plan that takes you by the hand, and shows you what to do step by step you can NOW take the power back, and lead your ex back in your life without forcing them.

And now you can get that plan right here. It has proven to work for thousands of people, and it can be downloaded to your computer in 5 minutes.  Begin with your step by step plan right now. Rebond with your ex and stop making the mistakes that always lead to failure.

Get My Husband Back And Save My Marriage

My Marriage appears to be beyond repair what can I do? How to get my ex husband back and save my marriage?

Learning how to get your ex husband back can be tricky. If you have been feeling desperate, and trying to figure out how to get him back after much time has passed of not being together, you probably feel a little bit stuck right now. Even though your mind is tired from the over whelming feelings, the rest of you is ready to do whatever it takes to get your husband back again.

However, having this type of never give up attitude may be the road block that prevents you from getting your husband to come back. What?

Probably the most common reaction after a separation or a break up is the feeling of desperation. Desperation and acts of desperation has killed more relationships than it has helped by a long shot.

If you are feeling like many women have in desperate situations you may have contemplated:

    * Calling him over and over again until he speaks with you

    * Sending a ton of text messages with questions

    * Sending emails

    * Checking his Facebook pages for updates

    * Or worse – begging for your husband to come back to you.

You need to realize right now that this is now how to get your husband back, and your behavior needs to change immediately if you want to win him back.

If you are able to put into effect some of the following methods you may still be able to get your husband back:

Cut Off Communication With Him

Depending on how long you and your husband have been separated from each other you will have a much better chance of getting him back if you don’t speak with each other for a while.  A little weird to most who first read this but more relationships have been ruined by taking the opposite approach, and hounding their ex doing all the previously discussed thing to try to get an ex to come back.

And they don’t work!

By not speaking with him for a while you give yourself and your husband the opportunity to sit and think about what happened, so you can get your heads on straight.  This helps prevent you or your husband from saying hurtful things to each other, and time to calm down so you can better determine what the future might hold in your relationship.

Men are extremely curious who like to be in control and maintain power in relationships, and by you not begging, calling, emailing, trying to talk to him etc, he will begin to wonder what you’re up to, and why you are not contacting him.

Often after a man leaves a woman his natural mind thoughts are to assume she will be calling and begging for him to come back. If you can control yourself and avoid calling him he’ll probably get impatient, and be the one who is calling you back. Most Experts will tell you this is an important step to understanding how to get your husband back.

Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself And Meet Some New People

Ok so this may be hard especially if you depended on him, and did everything together, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  This is an important step in getting your husband back so make plans to get out with some friends.

Have you been wanting to learn something new?  This is a great way to make new friends, and there are plenty of resources probably in your local area for this. Don’t waste this opportunity.

However, going out and meeting new people does not mean dating someone new. The main reason this is suggested is to help you get your mind off the stress, and social activities are a healthy way to spend your time rather than sitting on the couch stressing yourself out. Dating someone else will ruin any chance you ever had to get your husband back.

Make Compromises to Retain Your Husband!

Unreasonable requests by either party in the marriage will prevent a long-lasting relationship, and may have what led to the split. If you want to get your husband back compromises will have to made with each other. This does not mean you have to give up everything you believe in rather its you and him both taking a step back seeing and understanding each others point of view.

If you are reasonable and can help each other compromise, he is going to see you as someone who is enlightened. Hopefully you succeed in getting back with your husband, but then again nothing is every 100%.  Following these steps is important but is not going to guarantee you getting your husband back.

However, having a strategy to get him back will go a long long way. I’m sure you have noticed some of the resources here in the website. We hand picked them, and they are here for a reason.

These ebooks have proven to help couples reunite, and focus primarily on marriages and or long-term relationships using a step by step process.

Please consider The Magic Of Making Up,  which you download to your computer. Its the #1 resource Online that’s saving relationships everyday. Best of all, get a 60 day money back guarantee.

Good luck!

How To Save Your Marriage: Spice Things Up With Good Old Intimacy

Then things start to go wrong in your marriage and you strongly believe that you save your marriage before the word divorce even pops up then listen up. If you aren’t ready to see your marriage sink into the deep hole, and you need to know how to save your marriage, pay close attention because we are about to spice things up.

If your marriage is spiraling down an open funnel then there may be a big piece of pie missing from your marriage. After having kids and the responsibilities of taking care of them and your family, many problems in a marriage come from a lack of intimacy. If you want to have a healthy marriage there must some level of intimacy that goes beyond the physical and wholeheartedly embraces the emotional.  Ask yourself this, “does my marriage suffer from a lack of intimacy?”

Are you open and transparent with your spouse?  Do you share and include or do you exclude and keep your emotions and emotional needs locked away and try and deal with things on your own?  If you exclude your spouse emotionally, then your marriage lacks intimacy and it’s time to inject some and get on the road to save marriage.

It is essential that you make every attempt to share your problems and concerns with your spouse.  Too often people in marriages find themselves worried and preoccupied with a situation.  Instead of sharing this situation with their wife or husband, they keep things bottled and try and deal with it on their own.  This is a big mistake because it excludes your spouse when you should be including them.

Remember, spouses can very easily sense when something is wrong and if you exclude them, they quickly begin to feel shut out and redundant and that’s when hurt can quickly find its way into a marriage.

Another way to inject intimacy into your marriage so that you can save your marriage is to make time for your marriage.  In this day and age when a thousand and one things can encroach on your time, not making time for your marriage is a surefire way for a marriage to hit trouble.  It’s no fun discovering that when you were busy carving out a career or focusing your time on attending to the kids, that your marriage just shriveled up and died.

Make sure that if you want to save your marriage that you’re actively making time for your spouse and your marriage.  Once in a while take an impromptu afternoon off and have some fun with your spouse.  When your spouse realizes that you value them to the extent of changing your schedule to include them, you will begin to see an improved difference in your marriage.

Creating and fostering intimacy in your marriage so that you can save your marriage will take time and is an ongoing process.  Don’t ever make the mistake of allowing your marriage to be left set on auto-pilot.  A healthy and intimate marriage is one that is attended to regularly, only then will it thrive.

How To Save Your Marriage: Discover How To Save Your Marriage After A Tragic Event

Is your marriage spiraling out of control? Saving your marriage from deteriorating after a devastating or earth-shattering incident has taken place may seem like one of the hardest things to do, but there is hope and you can save your marriage before things get worse. Sometimes in life things happen with warning while other times there are not any warnings. When something horrible happens in the life of your spouse or yours frustrations can run high and stress can be two much for you and your spouse to handle. When situations like this arise it is important to know how to save your marriage.

Many people seek advice on how to save their marriage as a result of their marriage deteriorating or falling apart. This is not uncommon especially when either one spouse or both struggle to cope and make sense of what happened. People deal with emotions in their own unique way and a death of a family member or a beloved child can be detrimental to a marriage. Maybe you lost a loved one in a car accident. Maybe you family lost their house due to a fire, flood or hurricane. Maybe one of you or a family member is suffering from bad heath and the stress of seeing your loved one suffer is becoming unbearable. Maybe you lost your job and the bolls never seem to stop coming or maybe you are stressed over your newborn child.

Regardless of what your situation is their are a few crucial things you can do if desperately want to know how to save your marriage before it crumbles right from underneath you. You see men and women have different approaches to the way they handle things. Some people may keep things all bottled up while others do not keep their emotions and feeling bottled up. Understanding and accepting how your spouse mourns will help you tremendously in knowing how to save your marriage. The first thing you shouldn’t expect is that your spouse will react to the situation the same way you do.

Whether your spouse means to or not you should also know that when people grieve it normally brings out some of their nastiest and darkest characteristics. If you want to save your marriage you need to have patience with your spouse. Patience is needed in understanding why some very negative changes take place in their personalities. You have to be able to see those changes taking place in yourself and your spouse. Don’t excuse the behavior and don’t let harmful behaviors ruin things more but understand what is happening.

In both of the above cases marriage counseling may be needed. Marriage counselors will usually be very adept at helping couples struggling through these times. Whether it is a Christian marriage or any other, there are places and people you can go to that will help you and the one you love get through this. However marriage counseling can be very time consuming and costly.

Here are some suggestions for other things that will help you get through this time:

Give your spouse the support they need. Commit to each other that you are going to get through this together. Be a team fully supporting each other and understanding each other. When one is particularly weak at one point, be there and provide a shoulder to lean on. Ask that the same be done for you.

Seek help from you family. Find close friends and family that will help you through this. There is no reason that the two of you should go through this around. Find a network or a group of people who have gone through similar things. There is strength in numbers.

Do something to keep you mind off of whatever happened. Find a reason to laugh again. Watch a silly sitcom on TV or some stupid funny movie. Watch one of those funny home movie shows for some good laughs. Spend time with fun loving people who you have a good time with Laughing will make you feel better and gives you a break from the weight you carry.

When you have suffered greatly, it doesn’t mean that the marriage has to come to an end. It can be made stronger if you are serious about finding how to save your marriage. They always say what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger and if you and your spouse can get through this you all will be closer together then ever.

Need more help on how to save your marriage? Put a stop to the friction and stress that this tragic event is doing to tear your family and marriage apart. EVEN if You are Struggling to Communicate with Your Spouse and are the Only One Who Wants to Work on It!

How to Save Your Marriage from Divorce

George and Kim were on tenterhooks all the time and there were times when they could not even bear to see the sight of each other. It is not that things were bad always, there were happier and blissful times. But careers and then kids encompassed most of their lives and they hardly got time to interact with each other and slowly from smaller tiffs and niggling and haggling about domestic issues to prolonged verbal fight nights, it started getting worse. Eventually, the situation became so bad that they mutually agreed for a divorce.

Well, this might be an extreme case, but it is not totally incredulous. Happily married couples-turned foes and Mr and Mrs 'don't want to see your face' is, on a serious note, not a happy sight. Yes, it is debilitating, emotionally and mentally for the two individuals involved in it. God forbid, if there are children, marital discord can wreak havoc on their impressionable and tender minds. Till the time things go absolutely haywire and there is no other resort, divorce can be tried and avoided. Rather efforts to salvage the marriage are beneficial for the couple and for the family as well. The text to follow will talk about the same, how to save your marriage from divorce and how to deal with the common causes and reasons for divorce.

How to Save Your Marriage from Divorce: Tips

They say that where there is a will, there is a way. If the couple really wants to save marriage and stop divorce, it can go to any length to save it. For that they will also have to know why marriages fail.

Talk it Out
Sitting down, relaxed, peacefully and without any prejudices and an overload of thoughts, trying and sorting out the problems with your spouse is of utmost importance. Sometimes all it takes is a candid, heart to heart talk, no frills and no reservations. Be crystal clear with each other. Who knows it might help. Be it an extramarital affair or any other issue for the pitiful plight, this should ideally help. As many a times there can be a lack of communication in marriage.

A Vacation
It can happen that the city or town you live in also has a lot of relatives or the work there does not give exclusive time to the couple, one of them can just plan a vacation, take days off and just go zoom off somewhere. It need not be any where far off. It can just be a few miles drive to the countryside, with some peace and quiet. That will be a suitable atmosphere for the couple to be relaxed, listen to each other with an uncluttered mind. This is a basic thing regarding how to save your marriage before divorce and smoothen out martial problems. Avoiding divorce may need just this from the couple.

Kin and Mates
If there is a case that you have to save your marriage alone from divorce, then the friends and family have to come in even more prominently than before. Because for one of the spouses alone to handle it, it is really very difficult. The friends and family can be pillars of support in that case. They can provide mental support as well some valuable advice. If kids are a concern, even then family members and really close friends can turn out to be a boon particularly when you are looking at how to save a marriage.

Third Party
If nothing works and a person wants to know as to how to save your marriage after an affair, then one of the nails in the coffin is to go for marriage counseling. Marriage counseling will bring in a knowledgeable third person and he or she can analyze the situation and give much needed tips to save a marriage from divorce. If there are issues the spouses cannot talk to each other, the counselor can give an ear to those grievances. This is the best answer to how to save marriage from divorce and a happy marriage recipe.

Maintaining and nourishing a marriage is not as easy as ordering a wedding cake. There are adjustments, some discontent, some niggling problems and quirky habits and umpteen other issues which only the couple understands. But if the bond of love is strong, even with marriage problems and solutions, you get a life long companionship. Then no one would ever want to know how to save your marriage from divorce. This reminds me of a quote by Mignon McLaughlin - "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce: Your Still In The Game, Don’t Give Up Now

All maaaaan is your marriage falling apart fast then you can blink your eyes? You probably saw this coming from a mile a way, but you couldn’t figure out how to stop this freight train, could you? If you are ready to learn how to save a marriage from divorce then you need to pay close attention. The game is not over yet, it’s just getting started. If you want to save your marriage from divorce then you need to learn how to make sacrifices, open up and communicate with your spouse (the days of keeping thing bottled up like a ticking time bomb are over), and you have to look at thing for what they really are without over analyzing things.

Pay close attention because these three crucial things will teach you how to a marriage from divorce, it times to kick thing into high gear!

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Step One: Make Sacrifices

Countless times spouse that want help how to save their marriage from divorce are really more concerned in trying to get their partner to fix their problems first. If you are looking at your spouse as the reason why your marriage is crumbling then you need to take a close look at yourself. Your spouse may be the one that is causing all of the drama in your marriage, the one causing all the friction between the two of you, but you need to make sure that you aren’t adding fuel to the fire and making the situation worse than it really is.

Time after time many marriages end in divorce because either on spouse or the other starts getting selfish or feels that the world revolves around them. The truth is that if that is your perception, then marriage was hopeless before it begun. The two of you are supposed to work, as one and this cannot be if you are only looking out for yourself. You have to be able to give up parts of yourself for the survival of the marriage. It takes the two of you realizing that if you want to be as one, you may have to make sacrifices in the relationship.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Step Two: Open Up

People have the tendency to bottle things up when we are stressed. This isn’t good for any individual and it especially isn’t good for your marriage. When keep things bottled up for to long tension grows in the relationship, things are likely going to build up too much. When things keep building inside of you, you may reach the point where you do something that you may regret.

There may have been sparks flying when the two of you first got together. But that is nothing compared to the atomic bomb that could go off when you have let things stay bottled up for two long in a marriage. The longer you wait to bring to bring your issues to the table, the bigger the impact will be. You need to open up to your wife or husband to relive the stress of biting your tongue and keeping things bottled up if you want to save your marriage from divorce.

How To Save A Marriage From Divorce Step Three: Look At Things For What They Really Are

People normally have the tendency to make things a lot more complex and complicated than what they really are. We turn organs into grapefruits and grapefruits into watermelons. Blowing things out of proportion is something that many who need help save marriage will do that makes things worse than they really are.

Think about what it is that you really need to have in a mate. What is it you really need to exist? Try and simplify it as much as possible. Stop looking at all the details and try to find the root of the problems.

Are you making too many demands? Are you being too picky about how you think things should be? Are you expecting too much? Are you nagging the hell out of your spouse over minute things?

Take a step back and consider that you may be making things more complicated than they need to be. Simplify and you just may be able to help save marriage.

Do you remember the love that brought the two of you together that day? Seem but a distant memory?

Nobody ever said it would be easy, and certainly nothing prepares you for the life change that you undertake in marriage. There is no manual that comes with the marriage license that tells you how to make things work. So you blunder on, doing the best you can. But what if that’s not enough? Don’t be scared to ask for help. You can save yourself the stress and emotional heartache and re ignite the passion that you once both felt. Let Amy Waterman help you and your partner resolve your conflicts, and get your loving partner back. Its not going to be easy, but Amy provides you with all the relationship advice tools necessary to facilitate dialogue and works towards repairing the hurt of a failing marriage.

Amy has created a valuable tool that will change your marriage and change your life! See it for yourself.

How To Save My Marriage After Affair: 4 Critical Steps To Save Your Marriage From Divorce

So you want to know how to save my marriage after an affair? Has your spouse been out creeping around with the neighbor or even a co-worker? Or were you the one creeping around?

Nothing sucks more then finding out that your spouse has broken their vows. I am sure you are going through mixed feeling and emotions and to be honest that’s understandable. If you truly want to get your husband or wife back, with a little bit of elbow grease you can save your marriage after an affair.

Know doubt it’s going to be one of the hardest obstacles you may ever face but with hard work, determinations and dedication you can save your marriage from divorce.

Here are 4 lethal steps how to save your marriage after an affair:

How To Save My Marriage After Affair Step One

The first thing you need to do is make sure that your days of being a player are over.
If you still have the urge to cheat then you need to stop reading this now.

However if your days of cheating are over, then these steps will help you stop your divorce and save your marriage.

Marriages are built upon trust, and you can’t have a healthy marriage when you continue lying to your husband or wife about where you were and whom you have been with.

Not telling your telling your spouse that you have had an affair is lying. Chances are they already know or have a feeling that you have been cheating. So you need to tell them regardless if they know or not, even if it hurts you like hell to do it.

Honesty is the best policy. Even if your wife or husband does not know, somewhere down the line they will find out the truth.

Trust me they will, someway, somehow the truth always seems to surface no matter how much you try to keep it in the closet. If you try to keep the affair a secret you are only setting yourself up for disaster.

How To Save My Marriage After Affair Step Two

Things may be heated but you need to take the blame on this one. Maybe there was a lack of intimacy; maybe you and your spouse were having financial problems. You may even feel like your wife or husband drove you to cheating?

Whatever the case maybe people always tend to try and rationalize their behaviors or try to explain to our spouses the reason why we cheated by coming up with excuses. But the truth of the matter is that there is absolutely no excuse for cheating on your spouse.

With a little communication the problem you had with your spouse could have been brought to light and fixed. Marriages are not built upon blaming our spouses for our mistakes. If your spouse chews you out, take it like a woman or man and move on.

How To Save My Marriage After Affair Step Three

It is crucial that you apologize to your husband or wife. Your spouse needs to know that you are truly sincere if you want to save your marriage from divorce. It is vital that you let them know that you are truly remorseful and that you deeply regret what you did to both them and the kids.

Don’t try to explain or come up with excuses why you did it, just let your spouse know how you truthfully feel.

How To Save My Marriage After Affair Step Four

Your spouse is going to need some time to think so do not pester them by begging for their forgiveness or a second chance. Just give them their space. There is nothing you can do about the way they deal with the situation.

Your partner is really hurt and you cannot push them to forgive you. They will forgive you when the want to and on their own terms. So just be there for them but stop pushing and begging for forgiveness.

If you continue to push your spouse for a second chance you will only push them further away from you, and that we don’t want.

After cheating on your spouse things will be a little rocky at first. If you want to save your marriage you are going to have to win their trust back and this is going to take time and patience.

Do you need more help on how to save my marriage after an affair? If you want to save your marriage there are resources available that can help you get over the sleepless nights of not knowing if your marriage is going to work or not.

If you want to save your marriage I highly recommend you check out the only resources you will ever need to help you save your marriage today. Click Here To Save Your Marriage Today Before It’s To Late!

Individual, Couples & Family Counselling

Candice Hague has been working with individuals, couples, and families for over 10 years.  Recognizing that you may need help is the first step to a more fulfilling and balanced life.  Don’t wait to be in “crisis” before seeking help. Counselling is a process that can assist others in overcoming challenges and an opportunity to deepen your understanding of self.

Is Counselling Confidential?

The services that you receive from Nirvana Counselling are confidential within the limits of the law and the ethics of the counselling profession unless a written consent has been signed by you. The only exceptions to this include:
  • Reporting of suspected child abuse or neglect
  • Responding to a medical emergency
  • Complying with a subpoena
  • Responding to a threat of harm to self or others

What is Clinical Counselling?

Clinical counselling is the use of clinical mental health counselling values, principles and methods for the purpose of assisting clients to understand their issues and concerns in order to enhance self-growth, personal effectiveness, interpersonal relations, life adjustments, spiritual growth, and mental health.  This may involve developing insight into, and/or learning to prevent and/or eliminate maladaptive behaviour or symptoms, in addition to the enhancement and strengthening of healthy coping styles and functional relationships with self and others. -Information Source: BCACC  ( www.bc-counsellors.org )

How can a Registered Clinical Counsellor help me?

We live in a complex world that sometimes doesn’t offer a great deal of time or opportunity to sort through personal issues.  A Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC) can help you do just that. Counselling can assit you in achieving a better understanding of your issues and concerns in order to enhance your self-awareness, personal effectiveness, relationships, and your overall health and wellness. Registered Clinical Counsellors are qualified to work with individuals, couples and families dealing with many different issues.  Since most problems are never isolated to one area of a person’s life and tend to be complex, it is essential to draw on many different approaches.

CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK…CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL!

home_009 Individual, Couples & Family Counselling

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Promise Yourself That Divorce Is Not A Viable Option

Depending on how troubled your marriage is, it’s very possible that you’ve already had friends and family recommend you get a divorce.  Let me suggest to that, except in the case of an affair, you should not seek a divorce (and even then it is usually best to reconcile if possible).  While divorce is extremely common today, it is also extremely costly (and I don’t just mean monetarily).   Despite its prevalence, I have yet to meet a divorced spouse who wasn’t negatively affected by the ordeal (not to mention the often devastating effects divorce has on children).

Consider the following findings:

    * Life expectancies for both divorced men and women are substantially lower than their married counterparts.[1]

    * Speaking about the severe health consequences often associated with divorce, one researcher at Yale University concluded that “being divorced and a nonsmoker is (only) slightly less dangerous than smoking a pack a day and staying married.”[2]

    * After being diagnosed with cancer, a married person is most likely to recover, while a divorced peson is least likely (indicating that the emotional effects of divorce have a long-term and lasting impact on our physical health).[3]

Of course you and I both know that statistics can be manipulated in so many ways.  To really understand the long-term effects of divorce, it’s best to talk with someone who has gone through it (either as a spouse or a child).  Unfortunately, you’ll be hard pressed to find a person who remains unscathed by the ill effects a divorce.

Consider these selected quotations, the first two from adult children of divorce and the third from a recently divorced man:

“I’m 33 years old and my parents divorced when I was 22. I still mourn the loss of the family that was the centerpiece of my childhood. I’m still very angry with my mother for leaving my father although I don’t tell her. We’ve had many fights over the years and my anger seems to stay unresolved. It doesn’t seem worth it to bring it up anymore. But I am mad…and my life has definitely been affected by the divorce. Since the divorce I’ve struggled with depression and anger issues. Before that I always felt that I had a strong foundation from which to live my life. I now feel as though that foundation has been shattered. My husband is wonderful but I used to really worry about him leaving me….abandonment issues from the divorce. I will never divorce. I would never want to put my children through what I have experienced. I want them to be whole and healthy. Not forever heart broken. I would love to see more research on adult children of divorce and I’d gladly participate in any studies.” [4]

“I’m a kid of a divorced family and I can tell you because my parents constant fighting it never ends, and will never end till they are both ten feet under. Money is all that seems to matter, this has been going on for at least 15 years of my life. They were divorced when I was 5, honestly thats the thing about relationships almost always they are in the moment driven, and then when life comes back and your la la dream is gone, people are shocked. Today my Father wont talk me, and would rather have nothing to do with me. I’m 21 and he’s missing out in every way on my life, he could change it all in 5 seconds if he wanted to, but he doesn’t why do you think this is? its all in one not so big word…..Pride……Life and pride hit my parents and thats what broke them up, and thats why they are still fighting. For once I wish people wouldn’t argue and fight when that doesn’t solve a thing, it only makes it worse, not only will a spouse not view you as mature, but it throws your children in a corner. Some of you need to do yourselves a favor and stay married or not to get married, and do not have kids. Kids are innocent, and peoples selfish wants and needs are rotting the kids, maybe its not in action, but trust me emotionaly they are stuck. Divorce is destroying our nation in so many ways, way to much money is being put into the courts for a rediculous divorce that will most likely on average take about 7-9 years. Fighting wont ever stop, how about you ask yourself some serious deep questions before you start saying how you have it bad.” [5]

“It doesn’t make me an expert on the subject, but I’ve been through divorce. It has nothing to recommend it. Whether divorce leads to an experience of first freedom or final alienation, exhilaration or desolation, there’s an underlying taste of failure left in one’s mouth. If not a howling rage, then a hollow residue.  How can something that began so right end up so wrong?  Whatever our status and experience in the aftermath of divorce, the fact of it, of having been-there-done-that, presents one with an abiding sense of loss and regret. It is a scar that reminds us of our spoiled humanity, a realisation that we are, at our core, like corrupted hard discs carrying Eden’s virus of imperfection. No wonder societies of all ages and peoples of all religious character and ethnicity have sought social guards against it.” [6]

Obviously I can go on and on – the lasting impact of divorce is nothing new and has been well documented now for decades.  I only cite the above references to remind you what you already know intuitively, that divorce is a terrible thing and tears families apart, and should be avoided if at all possible.

But despite the not so subtle landmines associated with divorce, it remains a viable option for many—and even an attractive option for some.  After all, divorce promises a “way out”—a change for the better, a new beginning, and a clean slate to boot.  And when you’re in the thick of the same heated battle for the umpteenth time, an escape plan does sound attractive.

But the truth you need to know is that there is no magic in that piece of paper.  It’s easy to buy into what the divorce lawyers may be telling you, but you need to remember one thing…

Their goal is to make money off of you.  Plain and simple…

A divorce lawyer doesn’t exist to help you or make you feel better.  No one enters into that profession with the intention of helping others.  A divorce lawyer is there to get you to sign their agreements and contracts which push their agenda (which in turn takes money out of your bank account).  So do not buy into what a divorce lawyer may be telling you, because they’re going to tell you what you exactly what you want to hear, not what you need to hear.

Make sense?

Before we move on, I want to say one more thing about this topic…  Not only do you need to resolve in your mind that divorce is not an option, but you need to do that today.  Right now. Because the longer you wait on that, the more likely you are to fall prey to your emotions.  The next fight will come and you’ll be looking for the white flag.  Don’t take the easy route, my friend.  Your marriage is worth saving.

Commit Yourself To Making Your Marriage Healthy

Do you remember when you first got married?  Do you remember what the honeymoon was like?  Seems like a long time ago, eh?  Perhaps when you think back like this it feels like you were married to someone else.  And of course people do change, no doubt about it…

But it’s precisely for this reason—that people do change—that you can have hope for your marriage.  But in order to see that through, you need to take a proactive role (regardless of who is at fault for what).  You need to take the bull by the horns…

And it all starts with one little word…

Vision.

For our purposes, vision is nothing more than being able to clearly see the desired end.  Vision is closing your eyes and imagining a happy marriage once again.  Vision is believing that the picture in your mind’s eye will undoubtedly become reality once again.  And just to reiterate something I said before…I’m not advocating the power of positive thinking or some psychological BS – clearly you need more than vision in order to save your marriage, but you still need vision nonetheless.

Without vision, it’s hard to see the goal, that desired end state.  And when we have trouble picturing the end state, our motivation is bound to become lax.

The right vision is going to be the foundation of your commitment to making your marriage healthy.

If your goal right now is only to stop what looks like an inevitable divorce, you need to raise your standards!  If your goal is to simply survive and “save your marriage”, you need to shoot higher!  Don’t get me wrong, those are not bad goals to have…  But in order to really turn your marriage around and literally get it going in the opposite direction—you’re going to need to aim high.

Let me close out this UMBA by giving you a practical suggestion –

Rewrite your wedding vows.

Notice too I didn’t say “write them out” or “write them again”.  I said “rewrite” them.  In other words, take some time to think of brand new vows to your spouse and write them down with pen and paper.  It would be best if you and your spouse can do this together, but if not it’s still worth doing the exercise yourself.  You’ll be amazed how much just this one exercise will do to refocus your commitment.

Slow to Speak, Quick To Listen

Let me share with you a truth from my own marriage that is also true with most of the married couples I’m familiar with:

Regret most often occurs over too many words.

We human beings like to get our point across, don’t we?  Sometimes we go to great lengths to make sure our side of the story is told.  We don’t want to be misrepresented, and we think we’ve somehow earned the right to be heard.  At least I know I often think this way, and I imagine you may as well.

And while there are times to get your point across and tell your side of the story, there are also times to, well, just SHUT UP.  That may sound harsh, and perhaps even be a bit harsh… But the fact remains – we are less likely to say or do something we regret if we talk LESS.

A healthy marriage is a partnership – it’s not a relationship where two people are constantly trying to assert their will over each other.  Strong marriages don’t operate like this!  A healthy marriage is about each spouse truly loving the other…this means trying to please your spouse, to look to his needs before your own, and, yes, even to lay aside your own desires at times.

Let me get real practical here – the next time you’re in some sort of argument with your spouse, commit to biting your tongue.  Anyone can lash out in anger—that’s easy to do.  Unfortunately it gets you nowhere though and usually makes things worse.

If you’re going to err, err on the side of saying too little rather than too much.  Let your spouse accuse you of giving the “cold shoulder” before he or she ever accuses you of abuse.  Cultivate the habit of listening to your spouse.  Note this is not a passive exercise…I’m not merely suggesting you “not talk”, but rather am suggesting you intently try to hear and understand what your spouse is trying to communicate to you.  This will in turn accomplish a few positive things, including the following:

   1. Listening to your spouse will help you better understand and know her.
   2. Listening to your spouse will help you remain calm.
   3. Listening to your spouse will show her that you love and respect her enough not to further your own agenda with your many words.

The Right Way To Say You’re Sorry…

Okay, so I kind of hyped up this section telling you it’s the most valuable part of the book..  And I really think it is!  Let me tell you why…

If you screw up with all of the other MEAPs and UMBAs…if you keep on doing things that ultimately hurt your marriage, all is not lost…  You can get your spouse to forgive you, you just need to ask…

Please notice the way I worded that last sentence!  I didn’t say that in order to get your spouse to forgive you, you just need to say something..No, I said you need to ask something.  And what exactly are you asking for?  To be forgiven, of course!

Asking for forgiveness is not easy, and it requires real humility and brokenness.  But if you want to save your marriage and turn it around, you’re going to need to “get on your knees”.  That’s just the way it is my friend.  Actually to say that asking for forgiveness is “not easy” is really an understatement.  Our pride (ego!) can seriously get in the way of us doing this.  Even if we know down deep that we’ve screwed up, verbalizing that and being at someone else’s mercy is a humbling position to be in…it just is.  And it’s not always comfortable, I know… But it is necessary.

So how do you practically do this?  Well first of all, you need to do more than simply saying “I’m sorry” to your spouse.  Try this on for size…

Pretend you’ve just lost it with your spouse (let’s call her Sarah) and cursed her out.  You ranted and raved and made a bad scene, all because she wanted you to do something that you didn’t feel like doing.  Not only that, your screams were loud enough to wake up the baby and your 6 year old…  Now she won’t talk to you.

Here’s something you could try…

“Sarah, I know you’re angry at me right now and I understand.  What I did before was completely unacceptable and wrong.  I have nothing to say to defend myself, only to ask for your forgiveness and pledge my commitment to you not to let that happen again.  I’m very sorry and I’m begging for your forgiveness.”

Can you picture yourself saying those words?  Does that sound difficult to say?  If it does, rest assured that you’re correct—it is difficult to say those things.  But then again, if you’ve really screwed up (we all do) and you know you’ve really screwed up (half the battle), you need to do this.  Not asking for forgiveness when we’ve knowingly wronged our spouse only allows negative feelings to fester.

Annoyance turns into anger, anger into disgust, disgust into dislike, and dislike into hatred.  Don’t allow it to get that far (you’re in control!).

Now I know some of you are thinking….”But there’s no way my spouse would respond positively if I asked for forgiveness like that.  It wouldn’t make a difference at all.”  And to you I would say…

Try it.  Seriously.  Try it.  Now like all of the other strategies I’ve outlined, I’m not saying this is going to be a panacea and cure all of your marital woes.  Truth be told, your spouse may allow those negative feelings to fester and not forgive you right away (or in some cases at all).  But more than likely she will choose to forgive you when you humble yourself like this.  Now you may have to ask for her forgiveness more than once (repetition isn’t a bad thing, it lets her know you have real remorse), but chances are she’ll come around.

One other practical tip before we move on…  When you ask for forgiveness, ask to be forgiven for something specific.  Don’t try the “please forgive me for all the wrongs I’ve ever done” approach.  This rings shallow and insincere.  Rather, talk about your offense(s) and mistakes by name.  This shows your spouse that you understand exactly what it is that made her so upset.

Change The Way You Think – How To Renew Your Mind

Many people assume that the battle to save a marriage is fought over our actions—i.e., what we say and do.  And no doubt this is partly true.  But that battle begins first in the mind.  If your mind has faulty assumptions or misguided intentions, that’s going to show itself in how you act towards your spouse.  Put another way, what you believe about your marriage has a direct correlation with how you act in your marriage.  Actions always flow out of beliefs, that’s just how it works.

Even in healthy relationships, both spouses are going to have some faulty assumptions and expectations that taint their outlook on each other as husband and wife.   But in a marriage headed for trouble, expectations and beliefs are often severely “out of whack” and need to be addressed more seriously.  This reprogramming of the mind is absolutely essential for any lasting change to occur.

At this point I hear some of you saying…

“But what if my spouse is the one that needs to change?  Doesn’t he need to have his mind reprogrammed?!”

In a word, yes.  But two things to note here –

   1. If you’re honest, it’s likely there are some changes of behavior needed in both of you in order to turn this thing around.
   2. It’s going to be that much easier for your spouse to change the way he thinks and acts when he first sees a change in you!

So regardless of who needs to change more, the change must first start in the mind, and it’s going to start with you.  Okay?

Trust me, once your spouse notices the “new” you—the change in your thinking and behavior, most of the time they’re going to follow suit.

Okay, let’s move on…  Does it sound difficult to change the way you think about your spouse and marriage?  Don’t worry it’s really not – you just need to get some new UMBA’s!

“What the heck is an UMBA”, you say?  I’m glad you asked…  :)

U – Underlying

M – Marital

B – Belief (or)

A – Assumption

Each of us has a number of UMBA’s, some of which are on target and some which are out of whack.  These UMBA’s correlate with how we act towards our spouse.  Since action and behavior always flows out of belief, it’s important that are UMBA’s are grounded in reality and truth.

To that end, the remainder of this section covers most of the common UMBA’s that usually need adjustment in a troubled marriage.

Are you ready to get some new UMBA’s?  Let’s do it!

What Are The Signs To Look For In A Possible Breakup?

Signs of a break up sometimes is hard to see coming. Breaking up with someone you care deeply about is very hard to go through for anyone. Sometimes they come out of nowhere and sometimes they happen over a period of time. Either way they often leave you feeling shocked and confused. Why is it common to feel this way?  Because we feel like we just got rejected and we’re not good enough.

We also feel betrayed and like we just wasted a bunch of time with someone leaving us hopeless to ever find a long lasting meaningful relationship again.

Just about every emotion comes to the surface after a break up, and more times than not it can make things even worse between both parties pushing you further and further away from each other.

When going through a break up you will likely have all kinds of thoughts go through your mind. “What could I have done to prevent this breakup?” Should I have done things differently?” “Should I have done this or done that?” All of these thoughts are normal, and common for anyone going through a break has.

Good news is that those people who do break up can very often get back together again. However, preventing one from happening will be much better then figuring out how to get your ex back after the breakup happens.

If you think there have been signs in your relationship that point towards a possible break up you need to act quickly to make things right if you want to save your relationship.

That is the reason for this article – to give you warning signs your relationship could be heading towards a break up.

At the end of this article we will provide you with a  helpful resource to mend your relationship, and prevent your break up if that is what you’re looking for. If you can cut it off before it gets too far you can save your relationship and not have to worry about trying to get your ex back chasing them around.

Do you have doubts about the state of your current relationship? Most all relationships can be salvaged. You can still save your marriage, or stay with your girlfriend or boyfriend if you can identify what the common warning signs of a break up are first. Here they are – Warning signs you should be aware that your relationship is heading for a break up:

Dodging – This is perhaps the most apparent sign your relationship is heading towards a breakup. Your partner is avoiding you. Not a lot but more frequently now than normal.  Avoiding you, your calls, emails, and text messages.  And an excuse every time why they missed your calls, didn’t reply to your texts, or emails.  It appears they have more time with their friends then you these days.

They used to only spend 1 day a week at most with friends now its more like 3-4 times a week. This is a sign there is something wrong with the relationship, and you might be heading towards a break up.

Communication isn’t there anymore – Having open communication between partners is one of the best ways to sustain long term relationships. When the communication in your relationship starts to noticeably decline it could be the beginning of a break up.

How often do you really talk when you’re together? Would they rather read a magazine or spend time Online then have meaningful conversations with you? Lack of communication is no doubt a common sign of a breakup.

Increasing amount of Arguing – Another sign of a breakup is the increasing amounts of arguments that  occurr. Every relationship goes through its ups and downs. You would be hard pressed to find a perfect relationship where there is zero arguing whatsoever. And unless you live in a fantasy world arguments naturally happen in virtually all relationships. Its just human nature to have differences of opinions.

The thing to look for is the frequency, and to what level they get to expressing harsh feelings towards each other. Is your partner picking more fights with you? Are they a little more personal on h0w they attack you?

Your relationship could be in trouble. Sometimes creating an argument is their way to show you that you guys are not right for each other. Its their way to justify when they want to end the relationship for good.

No doubt reading this article you have thoughts going through your head right now thinking back on what has recently transpired. It’s very important to be able to recognize what’s going on so you can prevent it from happening. (If that’s what you want to do?)

The pain of dealing with a break up and then trying to get your ex back is an emotional roller coaster, and hard to deal with. It affects relationships with your friends, family and your work. And that is no fun.

Interested in helpful tips to save your relationship and make it stronger? Save your money from going to a relationship expert. Times are tuff for everyone right now, and avoiding the relationship expert will save you a lot of money. If you’re looking for advice be careful where you get it Online as well.

Most of it is total crap.  And although your friends and family are there to help you they are not relationship experts either. What may have worked for them or someone they know will not necessarily work for you.

For these reasons we highly recommend you consider downloading information that is not only popular Online, but is not available in book stores, and has proven to work to save a lot of relationships.  It is a total plan you and your partner can go at your own pace to mend your relationship. You can get that plan Here.

Are you aware there are literally dozens of eBooks Online claiming to help save relationships ? We have done our homework, and located the ones that actually do work.  The one we suggest is effective for married couples, as well as boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

Rebond with your significant other and prevent your break up. Mend your relationship and make things better again. Breakups are not only painful for you but uncomfortable for friends, family, and work relations.

Magic Of Making Up Website has helped thousands of people save their relationship, and it should be no different for you. If you can wipe your slate clean and refresh your relationship, and rebond with each other – avoiding a break up becomes a reality.

All the Best!

Saving Your Marriage Requires Changing The Way You Think And Act

Let’s face it – chances are you’re reading this because your marriage is headed for trouble.  Perhaps you feel like even now your marriage is all but over and that you’re only married from a legal standpoint anyway.

But the fact that you’re reading this more than likely indicates that you do want to save your marriage.  You’re not content to let things go as is!  Good for you, this is the right attitude.  And for those of you who may not have that strong desire to save your marriage just yet, hang with me…

Saving your marriage is going to be a battle—I’m not going to lie to you or sugarcoat that in any way.  You’re going to need to change the way you think and also modify some of your actions.  There’s no way around that.  But on the other hand, it’s absolutely possible! If others have done it (and they have), why can’t you?  You just need a guide, a blueprint to follow.  That’s where I come in… :)

In posts that follow, I’m going to be dealing with the task of your thoughts (changing the way you think about your spouse and marriage), and then afterward dealing with the task of your actions (changing the way you act regarding your spouse and marriage).

While I have not tried to be unconventional just for the sake of being different, I know there will be some things I say that may go against what you’ve been taught—and certainly against what some of the more well known “marriage therapy” books teach.  All I can ask is that you follow through in reading my posts and applying what I teach.  If you do, I can guarantee you’ll have a great chance of saving your marriage.  At the very least, you will feel better about yourself knowing you’ve given it everything you’ve got.

How Do I Save My Marriage From Falling Apart? Your Foundation May Be Cracking But That Doesn’t Mean It Can’t Be Fixed

When you and your wife or husband got married you both vowed to love one another through sickness and health, until death do us part. However when times start to get a little rough things sometimes and your spouse may no longer want to be together until you die, despite your vows.

How can you fix a marriage that is on the brink of divorce? How do I save my marriage from falling apart when I still want to be with them until death do us part?

Has your dream marriage turned into a nightmare within a week, month or even a year? Maybe you both rushed this marriage and did not have a chance to really know each other. Or maybe the two of you have been together for so long that every little thing that you or your spouse does just pisses the two of you off.

Maybe the relationship is not where you want it to be or only stresses you or your spouse off. Maybe your marriage is so rocky at this point you could be slapped in the face with divorce papers any time now.Your marriage foundation is cracked and in dier need of being repaired.

The truth of the matter is that the most frequent reason why marriages usually end in divorce is because there is a lack of communication between spouses. Some couples have been together for so long and they both have become complacent. They have lived together for more then half of their life and never took the time to actually sit down and talk to one another.

For example, both spouses working to provide for their family and they only have two seconds to speak to each other a day. Many couples have become so complacent that they do not even respect each other’s individuality as time goes bye. Even simple things like saying “please” “thank you” are not being said. Who what have ever thought thing would have gotten so bad over the years.

Believe it or not complacency can ruin an entire marriage almost over night. Since you two know each other so well, you stop trying to impress each other you just let go. This is the wrong approach. Impressing each other after being together for 20 years will not affect your marriage. It will enhance the marriage. How was your relationship when your first got married? I am sure it was nothing like this!

Couples often ignore each other while living together physically and emotionally; everything is lost in the shuffle of bills and bullshit that really doesn’t matter in life. Like keeping up with the Jones’s. Who cares if your friends have a Benz and you drive a Kia. Don’t let the financial burdens of keeping up with the Jones’s ruin your marriage. Don’t let money destroy your marriage!

To get threw you guys hard time you must have a physical and emotional connection to succeed in a marriage. Simple things like that are often ignored and not taken seriously. For rich or poor, though sickness and health right? Well that’s what you committed to when you all got married.

These same people who used to love being around each other, laughing and having fun, now things have changed. What happened? Does this relationship still exist? What caused you two to stop liking each other? Is this marriage ruined? Was it something that you did or didn’t do or was it something your spouse did or didn’t do?

How do I save my marriage from falling apart? Find out the issues that are causing the friction in your marriage and fix them. I know it takes two to be in a marriage but work on your faults first then worry about your spouses. No one is perfect so think long and hard. Has your spouse been giving you clues? Chances are the have. If you can’t figure the underlying issues on your own open a dialogue with your wife or husband to find out were thing went wrong and how they can be fixed. You both need to interact and communicate your feelings if you want this marriage to work.

When the two of you no longer want be around each other or talk to one another that is the nail in the coffin as far as your marriage is concerned. When you go days without talking or you have no clue what the other person is doing, your marriage is in trouble.

Your marriage can be saved by just communicating with each other believe it or not. Does not make a difference what you talk about, you can save your marriage if you just communicate with one another. When one person talks, the other must listen.

Saving your marriage will be difficult. Like they say, “it’s easier said than done” this definitely holds some truth. This is a fact when your marriage is so damaged that it cannot be repaired.

To save your marriage, you must communicate, sacrifice, be honest, be trustworthy, and be companions. Your marriage will not work without those factors. Both of you need to sacrifice something in order for this marriage to be saved.

Your marriage can be saved; you just have to be willing to save it. Saving your marriage requires work and lots of patience. Take things slow and one step at a time. Your marriage will be stronger than it was when you first traded vows. Trust me!Don’t let your spouse slip away, start working on your foundation today!

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… and what you can do to save it? Put an end to the stress and anxiety of not knowing what to do to save your troubled marriage! AND discover proven methods to getting your marriage back on track – EVEN if You are Struggling to communicate with your spouse and are the only one who wants to work on it! Save Your Marriage Today before now before she finds someone else!

Save Your Marriage Today: 3 Keys To Transform Your Marriage

Recognizing you have a marriage problem is the first step along the road to transforming your marriage, and for most couples simply acknowledging there is a problem shatters the marriage myth. According to love stories, movies, and fairytales we are supposed to live ‘happily ever after’. But what happens when Snow White develops a drinking problem? What happens when Robin Hood’s long working hours start affecting his marriage to Maid Marian? What happens when Cinderella says she has ‘fallen out of love’?

We are taught in school how to do sums, how to read and recognize Shakespeare, and how to conduct scientific experiments, but what do we really know about the greatest social experiment of all, namely our ability to keep the love alive in our marriage?



The fact is we know surprisingly little, and from the moment we say “I do,” we are literally flying by the seat of our pants. We don’t get a manual or a textbook telling us how to get it right, so our marriage becomes an evolving set of experiments, learning and discovering more and more about ourselves and each other, and figuring out what works and what doesn’t. Some say if we don’t make mistakes we don’t really learn, but what do those mistakes cost us, and is the cost too high for some couples?

That’s why I have 3 ways to instantly transform your marriage. These are 3 things that you know will work and will help you get your marriage back on track. Let’s call this your error-free way to redeem yourself and your marriage in the eyes of your partner and show them that you are committed to making positive changes in your marriage.

The first key to transforming your marriage is to stop looking at your issues on a case-by-case basis. Couples that try to solve arguments by going into the small details of every argument are never really going to deal with the big stuff. I’m talking about the issues that REALLY matter in your marriage, and the issues that keep coming up in every disagreement.

Spend too much time at work? Partner feeling unappreciated? Don’t make love as much as you used to? Either of you feeling unfulfilled by your lifestyle or the relationship? Is the communication poor in your relationship? Does your need to always be right override the feelings of your partner? Spend less time worrying about the details and more time examining the issues and themes behind your arguments.

    * The issue is your job. The theme behind this may be balance between work and home life.
    * The issue is you not doing enough chores. The theme behind may be that you are being invited into making a greater contribution into coupledom.
    * The issue is your partner being grumpy with you all the time. The theme is your partner needing to feel validated in the relationship

If you have a greater understanding of what the key themes are behind your marriage issues you are better able to develop effective solutions that will really make a difference.

The second key to transforming your relationship is to examine your beliefs about marriage. It’s okay to not have the fairytale marriage. Even the best couples don’t always get it right. But what makes the imperfections good or bad is how you choose as a couple to deal with it. When you disagree about something, do you sit down and talk about it, or is your first instinct to deny that there is a problem and hope that it will all go away?

You need to understand that it is okay to be imperfect. In fact, admitting this to yourself and your partner can be one of the most liberating actions you take in transforming your marriage. Admitting your imperfections exposes a vulnerability that can bring you closer together as you find ways to get some meaning out of your issues. Acknowledging that you do make mistakes can open the door to acknowledging that there is a better way to do things, and one of the lessons we are called into as a couple is finding that solution together. Make a list of things that you have learnt since you got married, and a list of areas that you as a couple can both improve on. Then try sharing that list with your partner and ask them to contribute their thoughts.


The third key to transforming your relationship is in recognizing the differences between men and women, and acknowledging the importance of both roles in the relationship. Just because your partner views something different to you doesn’t make them wrong, and the same goes for you. There are often several interpretations of the truth, and the key to marriage success is in recognizing that women and men have key fundamental differences in the way they view things. For men, their view may be a much more task-oriented approach to fixing an issue, where a woman may focus more on the emotional process as you both navigate your way through marriage issues. While both approaches are different, with compromise they can both achieve the same result.

Write down 5 themes or issues. Then I want you to write down 5 task-oriented ways of trying to solve the situation. Then list 5 thoughts-based ways of communicating your way to a solution.

The first step to transforming your marriage is in transforming YOU. Being married can be scary enough, but having marriage problems and not knowing how to fix them can be paralyzing! All it takes is the ability to step outside your day-to-day issues and look at different ways of viewing your marriage. Every marriage problem invites you into growing and offers you and your partner the opportunity to learn.

Now it’s up to you to take what you have learned and apply it to YOUR marriage. You too can have a fairytale marriage!

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