Love Before Marriage

Love before marriage is a fruit which is ripening. It needs to be nurtured properly so that it ripens in the best manner possible. All the same, there are chances of its being exposed to a few dangers too but then chances are that these things help it to become a better fruit.
Love before marriage has many features which make it unique, some of them are:

You are still single:

Before marriage, even though you are into a relationship, you are still single. You need to fend for yourself emotionally and physically! Your partner may be around you to comfort and spend time but you perceive the world as a single. Although you slowly begin to get into a mindset of a married person, you are still not there completely.

Change in lifestyle:

Before marriage, a person is his /her own self. He/ she does not change the way of living because the institution of marriage has no binding on the individual. In other words, the person is a free bird, free to act according to his/her will and to do what he /she feels is in the best of his/her interest.

Decision making:

Decision making is entirely a one person's job although you might be dating seriously. This means that even the smallest of decisions would be taken by you and you would hold the reins completely of what is good and bad for you.
The other side of this issue is the impact of your decision making does not have an impact on your partner for you are not into a relationship as yet.

Pamper yourself:

Before marriage you have the distinction of pampering yourself by doing things which you like the most. This could be wearing your favorite set of clothes or hanging out at your favorite restaurant. You do care for your partner with whom you are into a relationship but that element of sharing does not exist.

Commitment:

The degree of commitment is also less before marriage. One could say that pre marriage is the period that people are into the process of committing themselves to their partner's interests. That apart, you still answerable to yourself for your actions and deeds and no one else is involved in the picture. These decisions could vary from your personal to your professional sphere. The commitments one has also do not undergo a great deal of change and remain more or less confined to the interests of the individual as against after marriage.

Physical intimacy:

Intimacy does exist but you do not share a part of your self emotionally and physically with another person. Generally people are in the process of getting this act together before marriage.

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Love Couple Pic

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Love Before Marriage

Love before marriage is a fruit which is ripening. It needs to be nurtured properly so that it ripens in the best manner possible. All the same, there are chances of its being exposed to a few dangers too but then chances are that these things help it to become a better fruit.
Love before marriage has many features which make it unique, some of them are:

You are still single:

Before marriage, even though you are into a relationship, you are still single. You need to fend for yourself emotionally and physically! Your partner may be around you to comfort and spend time but you perceive the world as a single. Although you slowly begin to get into a mindset of a married person, you are still not there completely.

Change in lifestyle:

Before marriage, a person is his /her own self. He/ she does not change the way of living because the institution of marriage has no binding on the individual. In other words, the person is a free bird, free to act according to his/her will and to do what he /she feels is in the best of his/her interest.

Decision making:

Decision making is entirely a one person's job although you might be dating seriously. This means that even the smallest of decisions would be taken by you and you would hold the reins completely of what is good and bad for you.
The other side of this issue is the impact of your decision making does not have an impact on your partner for you are not into a relationship as yet.

Pamper yourself:

Before marriage you have the distinction of pampering yourself by doing things which you like the most. This could be wearing your favorite set of clothes or hanging out at your favorite restaurant. You do care for your partner with whom you are into a relationship but that element of sharing does not exist.

Commitment:

The degree of commitment is also less before marriage. One could say that pre marriage is the period that people are into the process of committing themselves to their partner's interests. That apart, you still answerable to yourself for your actions and deeds and no one else is involved in the picture. These decisions could vary from your personal to your professional sphere. The commitments one has also do not undergo a great deal of change and remain more or less confined to the interests of the individual as against after marriage.

Physical intimacy:

Intimacy does exist but you do not share a part of your self emotionally and physically with another person. Generally people are in the process of getting this act together before marriage.

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Do You Want to Attract Men Towards You

Whether you are single and want to get into a relationship or you just want to flirt with men, you need to attract them to you to meet your goal. It is mostly thought that women are experts in this field and attracting people to themselves come naturally to them. Whereas the fact is that this is nothing but a notion or a misconception.

Many women are not so good in this game of attraction or dating and hence need advice and guidance. So if you want to learn the tricks of attracting men to you, then read on for some useful tips.

First know and discover yourself. Discover your strongest points or your assets and flaunt them. If you have big eyes or long dark hair then highlight them and draw attention to them.
Always look good. This is not only vital but absolutely essential. Dress well, use good make up and look and smell fresh. Men are said to be superficial as they tend to go by looks. Whereas science has a different explanation as to why men choose their partners by looks. Whatever it may be, looks are to be given the top most priority when it is about attracting men and therefore do not ignore this point even by mistake.
Perfumes can play an important role in attracting men. Use a fragrance which is feminine, soft and yet a bit seductive.
Smile, look happy and confident. Smile is always effective in drawing people towards you. We all are drawn towards people who look happy and confident. Men are especially appreciative of confident women. So use these to your advantage.
Do not hesitate to express your individuality or your sense of freedom. Men love women with these qualities and will automatically be drawn towards you.
Make yourself mysterious to men. Let them keep guessing about you and never reveal yourself fully to them. The more you are able to generate curiosity about you in a man, the more he is drawn towards you.
Use your body language tactfully. Gain attention or create interest among men with the correct use of your body language. Apart from these, while speaking to men, listen to them and what they have to say. Take interest in their interests and laugh at their jokes, even if you may not find it worthy of it. Slight flirting is also a hit formula of attracting men.

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How to Get Through to the Opposite Sex

Do you ever feel your sweetie doesn’t understand what you’re saying? It could be a simple difference in gendercommunication styles.

What caused your last argument? Are the words you said the same ones your sweetie heard? It’s no secret that storms between women and men linger at the intersection of loving and living. You may find yourself asking, “Earth to sweetie, what must I do to get through to you?”

Here are 4 gender communication pitfalls with tips on how to avoid falling into them. While all men and women are not all the same, using just one of these tips the next time you disagree may reap relationship riches.

Pitfall 1: Men can separate sex from love, but women think that sex IS love.

A recent study found that a large percentage of women have sex for the sheer pleasure of it. Duh! But the study ignored the posturing of the genders AFTER sex occurs. Women ask me how they can push a guy towards permanence. The bonding hormone oxytocin, which gals have in far greater supply, drives women to bond with a man. But the male tortoise that tottered toward commitment now darts like a cheetah toward the cave. He feels invaded while she feels evaded. Hey guys, lighten up! The female black widow spider usually fails in her attempts to eat her mate after sex!!

Steve told Jackie he didn’t want to get serious. But since he was living at her home on weekends, she thought he would come around. Because Jackie kept pushing the issue, the couple ended up splitting for good.

My Advice: Yes, we know that talk is cheap, but if someone says the same thing to you over and over again, you need to listen! As my Gilda-Gram says, “If any partner feels s/he is in maximum security lockup, your relationship is doomed.” Sex is sex and nothing more — unless BOTH partners agree to change the script.

Pitfall 2: Men talk deals, women talk details.

Words have different purposes for the two genders. Women use them to solicit rapport, while men use them for gathering and disseminating information. In fact, men may accuse women of talking too much, but research shows that men actually talk more.

Lauren missed Fred after not seeing him for awhile. As soon as they got together again, she blabbed non-stop, describing every detail of the time they spent apart. While Lauren just wanted to include Fred in her life, his mind was screaming, “Damn! Does she ever shut up?” Unable to tolerate her constant chatter, Fred left Lauren in his rearview mirror. Lauren never knew why.

My Advice: Before pitching your message, assess your honey’s receptivity. Ladies, when your guy walks in and asks how your day was, ask him, “Do you want it in male talk or female talk?” Usually, he’ll choose the former, so offer a synopsis. Your feelings will remain intact while he goes off to unwind. Later, you can fill him in on any important details.

Pitfall 3: Women deliver “like-me” language, while men argue their points.

“Like-me” language preps the “nice girl” to ingratiate herself and avoid offense. Statements with a question added to the end (“The movie was good, wasn’t it?”) avoid issuing a judgment on the speaker’s behalf. Hedging phrases (such as “I think” or “kind of”) avoid imposing an opinion. In contrast, men blurt out their thoughts without subterfuge and tend to compete in one-upping each other.

Nice girl Traci was furious that each time she argued with Ralph, he insisted that if they broke up, he’d find someone else before she did. This was his aggressive repartee, a style guys customarily use without taking anything personally. After I explained to Traci that this was a gender distinction, not a slap in her proverbial face, she was able to laugh off Ralph’s competitive edge talk. Her new attitude softened all their future disagreements, and they’re now planning their wedding.

My Advice: Observe how the genders speak within themselves as a group. Know the stereotypes, honor the differences and laugh them off, just as Traci did.

Pitfall 4: Men want to fix women’s problems, but women just want to share.

When Marilyn brought her work problems home to Alan, he proceeded to tell her how to solve them. Unfortunately, all Marilyn wanted was to vent to someone with whom she felt “safe.” In my own relationship, I told my seasoned businessman boyfriend (whom I’ll call “Studly”) that I was looking to expand my consulting firm. Studly then escorted me to various booths at a trade show, introducing me to anyone who would listen. He’d begin by saying, “This young lady would like to…” as though I were a mute 10-year-old. “Hey,” I told him, “I’m an adult woman, I have a legitimate Ph.D., years of corporate consulting experience and I can SPEAK FOR MYSELF!” Studly thought he was “fixing” my dilemma and had acted with the best of intentions. He had no idea why I was so upset until I explained.

Ladies, know what you’re after before you unload. If you just want to vent, tell your partner that exactly. Guys, if your lady doesn’t tell you what she’d like your role to be, ASK HER before you provide solutions to the problem at hand. Women typically don’t want to take your directions any more than you like asking for them.

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What To Do When A Man Won't Open to You

Have you ever just sensed that something was off with your man, but you didn’t know what? Of course, he wouldn’t talk to you about it or tell you. He was just quiet and withdrawn. Trying to figure out what your man is thinking can be maddening. So what can a woman do to avoid a "Withdrawal Response" in the first place? And how can a woman deal with this unfortunately common situation in a healthy way and get back to an open, loving place together?
Step 1: Identify His Triggers
You might notice a pattern to his withdrawal, if you pay close attention. When does your man tend to clam up? Is it when work gets hectic? Is it during rough times financially? Is it when he doesn’t know how to answer you? Your first, and most important step, is getting him to address this for himself if it’s a real and recurring issue.
That way you don’t have to take it on. What helps with this is identifying WHAT it is that triggers his withdrawal response in the first place, and then simply pointing it out to him. When you understand what triggers a man to withdraw, you can avoid being caught off guard or get carried away wondering what's going on. Just knowing more about how and when a man withdraws will keep you and your relationship in a better emotional state.
Step 2: Separate Stimulus from Response
The definition of being OUT OF CONTROL in your life is when you allow anything outside yourself to control your inner emotional state. If you let a man’s emotional state determine how you feel and act…then you’re allowing yourself to become out of control. Sometimes a man’s negative or distant emotional state is not about you. If a man acts distant, but you otherwise have a loving relationship you’re confident about, it might just be that he needs that time to himself to unwind.
If you make the mistake of taking this personally, and make negative meaning out of his emotional state, it’s going to lead to conflict and put you in a REACTIVE mode. On the other hand…if you choose to not take his distance personally, and allow a man some temporary space, something amazing can happen. Knowing that he’s free to take some space, a man will often end up opening up more than he ever has before.
Step 3: Use “Non-Situational Honesty”
It’s up to you to let the man in your life know what your ideal relationship is, and how you want to communicate. Sharing what you value, and what you need to feel good in your relationship, couldn’t be more important. The problem is we often times get into relationships before we ever really discuss or share what it is we REALLY WANT.  Hint: Talking about what you want with a man by continually pointing out how he’s NOT giving you what you want is likely to never help you get to where you want to be.
The best way to create a shift in your relationship, and to open up better communication, starts with a simple tool I call “Non-Situational Honesty.” This is where your communication isn’t coming from the place where you’ve been emotionally “triggered” by something painful or negative, but where you’re simply honest about the positive things you want in the future. If you can remove this “triggered” energy from behind your words, and instead talk about what you DO WANT, rather than WHAT YOU DON’T WANT that isn’t working…you’ll be amazed at the different response you get from a man.
If you want a man to open up…stop, take a deep breath, and visualize the positive outcome you want in your relationship and with your man. If you can do this, everything else will start to fall into place.

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Improve Your Sex Life Fast and Safely

Your sex life is one important aspect in your relationship or you married life, and at times, a stale sex life can even can even bring a relationship down. If you want to improve your sex life or make something new to pleasure your partner, you can actually learn a lot with research.
If you want to improve your sex life and please your partner more, you have to firstly think of how you can bring your partner to orgasm. Of course, that is one ingredient on how to have the best sex and how to satisfy your partner. But of course, one can still enjoy sex without orgasm, and this is particularly true to women.
For more details on how you can improve your sex life, here are a few tips and ideas that you might want to explore for you to explore how to give and enjoy the best sex. - Know yours partner's body and be familiar and comfortable with yours as well. Of course, the best sex comes from knowing where to touch your partner and what makes him feel aroused and satisfied during lovemaking.
Different people may have different preferences when it comes to touching and getting turned on, thus you have to think of a way to be able to know where he wants to be touched. This can be a little challenge for a man though, as women are more reserved when it comes to what they want during sex. If you are a man wanting to give the best sex to your woman, you have to be gentle and make the woman comfortable enough to talk to you about what she wants. Of course, this is not just a man's responsibility.
For a woman to enjoy the best sex, she has to learn to be open to her partner when it comes to what she wants. - Learn the art of dirty talking. Dirty talking is indeed one good way to bring your sex life up to the next level. Although this can be a little tricky, as awkward dirty talking can turn off some people, you have to learn and practice to be able to master it.
This can also be a good way to make your partner tell you what she wants - which is useful for women to let their partners know what can satisfy her. If you are a woman who is not so comfortable about telling your partner on how you can be satisfied, dirty talking can be a great way to communicate during sex - but the key is to practice even before blurting out those dirty talks.
Explore new positions every time you make love to your partner. Men in particular, love to have something new to lovemaking, so if you are a woman trying to improve your sex life, you can start by learning and changing positions every time. Of course, adding an element of surprise to your lovemaking can be a turn-on to your man. If you are a man wanting to give the best sex to your partner, learn how you can make your woman reach orgasm.
Sex should not be limited to what you want from your partner but of course, what you can give. You will eventually find out that giving her an orgasm will also please you, boost your ego and of course arouse you as well.

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Is Marriage Bad for Your Sex Life?

Wondering what's ailing your once rocking sex life post marriage? It could be the marriage itself. Yes, according to a recent survey, the very fact that they are married can take a toll on a couple's sex life. In the survey, conducted on 3,000 married people, it was found that their sex lives did not remain the same after a few years into the marriage.
Researchers found that though, initially, couples can expect to have sex more than four times a week, after three years of life as man and wife, most couples are lucky to have sex just once every seven days. Up to one third of the married people interviewed admitted that they no longer fancied their partner as much as they did in the early days and a whopping 43 per cent even claimed that their loved one had let themselves go.
It also emerged six out of ten couples believe marriage has completely ruined the excitement of having sex. Under half of all married people said their relationship with their partner is more that of friends than lovers. The poll shows 59 per cent of couples believe their sex life has worsened since marriage because they no longer make an effort with each other any more and a third no longer fancy their partner as much as they did in the early days. Unfortunately, eight in ten couples admitted to being in a sexual rut - having sex at the same time, in the same place and in the same positions every time they sleep together.
In fact, 79 per cent of people are happier getting a good night's sleep than making the effort to have spontaneous sex in the middle of the night. Two thirds of couples blamed their hectic lifestyle for their terrible sex life and 80 per cent claimed they were often too tired to bother about any 'action between the sheets' once the day was over. Seven in ten people also admitted that they might be inclined to make love more often if their partner made more of an effort romantically. "Unfortunately, while you can be deeply in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, it is also possible to want more from the relationship.
A partner might be supportive, funny, intelligent, and kind, but if they don't inspire confidence in the bedroom, or don't meet expectations sexually, life can be frustrating," a spokesman of the study was quoted saying. Dr Minnu R Bhonsle, psychotherapist and counsellor attributes the decline in couples sex lives to two basic factors - either emotional distancing or physical fatigue. "If it's a case of emotional distancing, it's mainly because of accumulated issues that have remained unresolved. Hence, the partner doesn't feel connected to the other and stops responding to the his/her overtures. As for physical fatigue it could be due to a variety of reasons - fatigue at work, tiredness trying to maintain a balance between work, home and kids.
As a result, fatigue overrides their sex life." "Most young people are seized with a wrong notion that sex life is different from marriage. In reality, sexual relationship is essential and a healthy part of a marriage. Sex needs commitment and connectivity and that is where most young people find themselves lacking the adequate energy or inclination," opines Dr Rajiv Anand, marriage counsellor. According to him, it is not the sexual act that loses novelty or attraction after marriage but the approach of the people involved. So what's the solution?
"If it's a case of physical fatigue, couples should engage in scheduled sex. They must plan weekend getaways or make arrangements to leave the child with a babysitter or relatives and plan a night out where they could probably get home early from work and then just concentrate on spending time with each other. If it's an issue of emotional distancing, communication is the only solution.
Couples need to talk things out with each other in a non-toxic way," says Dr Minnu. Dr Anjali Chhabria, psychiatrist and psychotherapist opines that it is more important to get down to the root cause of the issue than just search for quick fix solutions. "Sex is an important part of marriage and the lack of it could indicate issues in the marriage.
A declining sex life is a symptom, it's just the tip of the iceberg. One needs to find answers to why there is no sex? Is it because there is no chemistry in the relationship or is there no relationship at all? Are the partners too tired or stressed out? Does one partner feel that she or he is no longer attractive to the other? Is one's spouse attracted to someone else? If it's just boredom, couples need to make sex a priority. If they are too tired to have sex at night, do it in the morning. If lack of privacy is the issue, couple need to make time for themselves. Most importantly, couples need to tell each other what they want. Your partner is not a magician to magically figure out your wants and needs," she explains.

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Natalie Portman and Her Attitude to Sex Scenes

Natalie Portman feels she has an "immature" attitude to sex scenes. The 29-year-old actress has shot a series of intimate love scenes during her Hollywood career, and her role in new romantic comedy No Strings Attached provides no exception.
The brunette beauty plays Emma Kurtzman in the movie - which also stars Ashton Kutcher - about a guy and a girl who try to keep their relationship strictly physical. Natalie feels she didn't cope too badly with shooting the intimate scenes, but was keen to make sure she appeared in a good light. "I'm pretty immature," she is quoted as saying.
"I get pretty embarrassed easily. For this movie I made a point of checking certain shots to make sure that I felt okay. "There was one of the panties coming off that we did and after I watched I was like, 'Oh, that's not bad,' because it was really quick and it wasn't lingering on anything that I felt modest about."
The talented star finds it amusing how actors are required to make small talk in between the filming of romantic sequences. Natalie always tries to discuss something light-hearted with her leading men in a bid to reduce tension.
"Then you go the opposite direction between takes, like, 'So, what are you doing this weekend?' Like totally benign conversation between to make it a little normal."

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DATING YOUR EX-LOVER - EX-BOYFRIEND, EX-GIRLFRIEND

As often as they are warned against it, sometimes ex’s do get back together. Re-dating someone you have been with before has its share of problems, and can sometimes end in disaster. However, re-dating your ex can mean that you were actually meant to be with one another, and can mean a fresh start for the both of you. Often, time apart shows how much you mean to each other, and rekindling lost love might be just what you need.

Before you decide to re-date your ex, a conversation should take place during which boundaries are set. You cannot simply pretend that this is the first go-round, and issues from your previous breakup(s) need to be addressed. Perhaps both of you have grown in your time apart, and that issue no longer stands between you, but that needs to be established before things get hot and heavy.

It is important to stay away from relationships that are doomed from the beginning. In other words, if you know it can’t work, don’t even head down that road. However, if you feel that a fresh beginning is possible, follow these tips for a more successful relationship.

1. Past is Past. I did say that you need to discuss issues from the past, but once they’ve been addressed, they should be stricken from the record. If you are unable to let go of things that have been said or done with your ex, then the possibility for re-dating goes right out the window. Instead, agree that past is past, and that you are going to move on from a fresh, open-minded perspective.

2. Look for Signs. If you’ve been with your ex before, then you know the signs that things aren’t going the way they should. Although you should not constantly be accusing your ex of behaviors that led to the relationship’s demise, you should also not ignore signs that things are headed asunder. Protecting yourself should be your utmost priority, even if re-dating your ex seems like a good idea.

3. Give the Benefit of the Doubt. In somewhat contradiction to rule #2, it is important to give your ex the benefit of the doubt. It is human nature to be wary when re-dating your ex, but don’t let it rule your new relationship. Instead, be open and honest about concerns, and make sure they are addressed sufficiently before moving on.

4. Be Careful of Fights. All couples argue, whether you are re-dating or not, so don’t expect a smooth ride free of breakers. Sometimes you’ll fight, and this is to be expected, but never throw old arguments into the face of your partner. You might be re-dating your ex, but that doesn’t mean he or she deserves to be punished for sins of the past.

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HOW TO DATE YOUR FRIEND - FRIENDSHIP TO LOVERS

I do not know about the average heterosexual male, but most of my relationships have been products of friendship. You get close to a woman, spend time with her, and eventually things just develop into more. But how do two people make the transition from friends to dating?

First of all, but people should be on the same page. Friends can become more over time, but if one person is pushing it while the other is unsure, you can ruin both the friendship and the potential relationship. Talking about it should be foremost on your minds, and voicing concerns should be met with careful thought.

Often, when two people transition from friends to dating, they aren’t sure exactly how to act around one another. Once a friendship has been established, with rules attached, breaking those rules can be stressful at first. Even holding hands in public and kissing one another goodbye might seem difficult, if not downright strange.

Usually, however, the discomfort is felt from both sides, which means that the same concerns are often shared. Unless you communicate those concerns, however, they are likely to fester and become too large to handle. Your best bet is to admit that you are feeling uncomfortable with the transition from friends to dating, and try to work through it together.

The extent of the discomfort will likely depend upon how long the two of you have been friends. If you’ve known each other for ten years, for example, your habits and traditions will have been well-established, and as such, harder to change. However, if you’ve only been friends for a few months, the transition from friends to dating will be easier.

Another problem is that friends who become more do not have the luxury of slowly getting to know one another. Friends who start dating are really starting well into the relationship; they already know one another, which might cause them to move too fast. There’s a lot of pressure on a couple who have known one another for years, but have just begun to develop romantic feelings. The temptation to jump directly into a serious relationship is strong.

My best advice is to behave however feels natural. If you need some time to adjust to the idea, cool things off and simply spend time with one another. Don’t push sex until the both of you are ready, because once you’ve taken that step, you can never take it back. Sex has been known to ruin friendships, and can very easily end yours.

Although you do run the risk of jeopardizing your friendship by taking it to the next level, it will only ruin your friendship if you allow it. People who sincerely like one another and enjoy each other’s company will find a way to make it work, whether or not the relationship lasts. Make a sincere and concentrated effort to remain friends, even while you are dating.

And finally, all successful relationships are based on friendship. Unless you can talk, laugh and commiserate with your partner, the relationship is not as good or as healthy as it could be. Even if you start to date someone right away, you should learn to become friends as well as lovers.

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HOW TO SPOT A CHEATING LOVER

Commitment is a traditionally notorious word among men, even though we crave it just as much as women. Nothing in the world compares to living with the person you love, to knowing that you’ll always have someone in your corner. Yet too many men express fear of commitment, and women have dealt with this frustration for generations.

So how do you know if your boyfriend has commitment issues? Here are eight of the most common red flags for commitment issues.

1. He won’t stay over. Men who have commitment issues rarely will spend the night because that betrays commitment. Instead, he’ll slink out of bed after sex, get dressed, and go home to his own apartment or house. Likewise, he won’t ask you to stay over at his place.

2. He wont talk about the relationship. Men who don’t fear commitment have no problem with discussing the direction and intensity of relationship. Conversely, men who have commitment issues will shy away from that discussion, no matter what the consequences.

3. He is open about his interest in other women. Almost as if proud of their commitment issues, men who don’t want to commit will openly discuss women they find attractive. They might also leave women’s phone numbers where you’re likely to find them, or even casually mention having a date with another woman.

4. He flinches at the word marriage. Men with commitment issues won’t discuss marriage, and might even break out into a cold sweat at its mention.

5. He won’t introduce you to his friends. Men sometimes feel that putting their friends with their girlfriends is akin to relationship suicide, but typically, men who won’t introduce you simply don’t feel that you’ll be around long enough for it to matter.

6. He won’t meet your friends. Men who have commitment issues want to keep the relationship as private as possible. They fear getting too close, which can certainly mean commitment, so they’ll only want to get together when it’s just you and him.

7. He wants to stay in a lot. Men who base relationships on sex, and sex alone, will want to stay in rather than go out. They don’t want to introduce you to friends, and they don’t really want to be seen together. This is a big red flag for commitment issues.

8. He won’t talk about the future. Commitment issues keep a man from wanting to discuss the future: next month, next week, or even tomorrow night! They like to live by the moment and don’t want to count on the fact that you’ll be around tomorrow.

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HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK

Long-distance relationships can be extremely hard. Not only is it difficult because you can not see or talk to your partner as frequently as usual, but practically everyone you meet will have a horror story about how a long-distance relationship failed for them. I once read that absence diminishes small love and increases great ones. Keep this in mind when you are going through rough times. If you have not yet committed to a long-distance relationship and are contemplating it, know that it is a huge commitment. Make sure that you really love the other person and that it is worth it for you to make certain sacrifices. Below are some guidelines to make it work.

1. Be honest about what you expect from each other.  Do you want the freedom to date other people? Are you comfortable with your partner making friends with the opposite sex? Are you going to try the long-distance thing out and stick with it if it seems to work, but not try to force the relationship? Discuss these things with your partner and be honest about your expectations. This way, everything is out in the open and it will lessen the suspicions you have about the other person. Also, you never have to question if you are crossing a boundary.

2. Coordinate your schedules. Be realistic about the time commitment you can give each other. If it works for both of your schedules, plan on talking at a particular time at night. However, this can place stress on you if you end up wanting to go out with friends and your long-distance partner is not understanding about your need to be social and branch out, or gets jealous of the time you spend with other people. No matter what, try to keep in touch daily through phone calls, E-mail, AIM, or other means. Download Skype, net2phone, or phonefree. Its free to talk online if you both download programs like these ... no matter where you are. Also, consider a web cam for a more personal connection.

3. Make plans in advance to see each other in person.  If you set firm dates to see each other and stick to them, it makes the wait less difficult because you can spend time planning outings with your partner and looking forward to seeing them. When you mutually agree on certain times to see each other, it lessens problems that can arise from one person feeling like they are pressuring the other into seeing them and the other feeling like the are too busy and are pushing away from the relationship because of the pressure.

4. Arrange to participate in long-distance activities together. Meet online to play games against each other or watch a television show at the same time. Also, try “virtual dates” Send you partner an E-mail describing a place (for example, a beach) and a time (dusk). Ask them to describe what kind of date they would have with your in this setting ,what you would wear, talk about, eat, what activities you would take part in, etc. Doing little activities like this together helps you to reconnect and remember the day-to-day fun you used to have.

5. Do not make issues larger than they actually are. In long-distance relationships, communication can be very difficult. Avoid fighting over small issues ... with the communication barriers, these small things can turn into big fights. Agree to disagree when it looks like you aren’t making any progress. In these types of relationships, you are bound to have feelings of uncertainty and doubt. Don’t make any drastic changes unless you are absolutely positive that things aren’t working. Threatening to break up every time you two are going through a rough patch wont help the situation at all, particularly if you aren’t serious about ending it. Do communicate honestly about problems that you are having with the long-distance situation, but do it in a manner that is constructive and problem-solving.

6. Surprise them. Send flowers or chocolates to your partner’s office. For an extra-special treat, Fed-Ex them food from their favorite restaurant back home. Send cards for no reason and E-mails just to let them know that you are thinking about them.

7. Share the details of your life. Talk about the little things that happen in your day. Keep your partner informed about what you are up to at work and socially. Call your partner for advice. When you had the chance to spend more time together, you talked about these things, right? It will help maintain a sense of normalcy and a sense of trust between the two of you.

8. Focus on the future. A long-distance relationship will not work forever. Make plans to live in the same city as soon as possible. Ambiguity about the future will add tension and doubt.

9. Never assume the worst. If your partner is late calling you one day or you hear someone else’s voice in the background, ask them what is going on before flying into a fit of rage and accusing them of being unfaithful. If you can’t get a hold of them, call a friend instead and distract yourself. No matter what, don’t stress over it.

10. Meet your partner’s friends and have your partner meet your friends.  It will help you have more trust in the relationship if you develop mutual friends who can reassure you when you are having doubts. Although you don’t want to have to turn to someone else to solve all of your problems, it can definitely be beneficial to have someone else there to assuage your fears.

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HOW TO FIND A NEW DATE

To find a date so your friends say. Join us for dinner and find a date to bring this weekend they ask you. Where do I begin finding a date? And then you panic! Maybe you just want to find someone for yourself, and it has nothing to do with a social situation. Well done, I am glad. Now that you are in a positive frame of mind, finding a date should not be as daunting as it first sounds. You can perhaps think of seeking out a date as a military campaign, as your life work, or just as part of your everyday relaxed social life routine. You never know, one of these days they may well turn into something more than a date. Well, that’s if that’s what you want of course. In the meantime let us concentrate on the task in hand. Finding any date is never easy that’s true, but it can be relatively easy or hard depending on your attitude to it.

First of all, why are you trying to find a date? Are you looking for a date to fulfill a social function? If you are why not just borrow a friend to help you out. Why not even hire a date from one of the many outlets if you can afford it. Now there is a huge difference between hiring a social companion for an event and, well, you know what. Yes I am not in anyway condoning the other. I am simply suggesting that there are professional agencies who can help you pay for a good looking date if that’s the situation. That aside we are concentrating here on those who are looking for a date with the purpose of romance.
Well this is presupposing that you don’t usually meet people and there are not too many of us who never meet anyone. What is true though is that we often believe we don’t meet anyone suitable. Maybe we are a single parent with home responsibilities, or someone who works from home. Perhaps we work unsociable hours and never meet anyone to date. Maybe we work with people much younger or older, or perhaps we really don’t have finely honed social skills. It could be that we are shy, private, quiet in a group or just unwilling to make the first move.
Well whatever the situation you need to take action. The first thing you want to do is top ensure your self esteem is at an all time high. You want to find a date you are going to have a great time with so make them feel special by looking good yourself

• Give yourself a makeover
  Buy some new clothes and update your image
  Get a new haircut or hairstyle
  Get a full beauty treatment and makeover
  Visit your dentist and get those teeth looking pearl white
  Get a tan and freshen your skin
  Get to grips with latest styles and fashions
  Treat yourself to a rejuvenating break
  Read some new magazines and go shopping just to get the feel
  Join a health club and get into a new health routine
  Go on a diet and lose a few pounds or kilos if needed.
  Take up a martial art or self defense classes
  Have an increased positive mental attitude                                                                                                                                                                                                        
• The next thing you need to do in preparation to find a date is to think long and hard as to what you really hope to achieve and whether you have any fixed aims and time scales. Have a clear idea of the person you are kind of looking for, but do not be too specific. Keep your aim as broad as you can and finding a date will be easier. The other thing I want to point out is to be realistic when looking to find a date. Don’t aim to date a Hollywood superstar if it’s not likely to happen. Keep your feet on the ground and take a long hard look at your own life before walking into someone else’s. If you are a multimillionaire then keep that detail to yourself for now.

Here are things you can do to help yourself find a date...
Dating Close to Home
Begin by looking close to home. Is there anyone in your neighborhood or family circle who is single with who you get on great. Often, people stay single simply because they are not asked out on a date by anyone, not because they themselves are lonely. It’s time to do the asking. And yes, that includes the good looking people in this world. There are lots of local clubs and activity places including evening classes. It is often the best place to introduce yourself to people of the opposite sex in your local community. Try to choose something that involves both sexes. I once met a fantastic date due to being involved in pottery classes which I greatly enjoyed.
Dating At Work
It is claimed that 87% of people working in London who are attached, met through work or started dating at work. This doesn’t mean that they work together, but that in some way, work brought them into contact. Indeed one of my best friends met his wife through a work related phone call. I do not think personally that dating at work or dating someone within your own office is a good idea due to the possibilities of fallout and neither do I think it is constructive to your career. Relationship tensions within an office can cause problems with other workers and can antagonize work related issues. So on that score I recommend you steer well clear.
However most organization are linked to other firms, there are many offices with many groups of working. If you don’t attend the office parties, then maybe begin. Try joining in after work or attending after work social events, from bowling to trips to the bar or comedy store. It is all about making new friends as much as finding a date.
If you really don’t have many people you work with or work from home like me then you are going to need to look at other ways of extending your social circle.
Get Physical
That’s right, join the gym. To find a date you should look your best. After all if you have set your sights high then doesn’t your potential date deserve the best too? Good, so get down to the local health club and look at the possibilities of getting involved in a regular health regime. If you do so already, expand your horizons and make sure you are not just at a unisex gym. Try other sports and healthy activities from yachting to running to baseball to anything you may not have tried before. You will make fabulous new friends as well as finding a date. And you will be fit.
Ask Your Friends
The most common complaint amongst people who are in their late 20’s and thirties is that all their friends are married. In which case my friends, it is time to adapt. Married friends will not help you find a date. They tell you they will when they can and they may if you are lucky even introduce you in a well meaning way to people who happen to be single. This can work. Double dating can sometimes do the trick. After all you should trust your friends. But more often that not it doesn’t help you find a date because your friends do not necessarily know who you are looking to meet. Really you need to be taking control and finding a date yourself.
In which case you need some single friends. Flash - its easier finding a date with a group of like-minded people. Oh yes. I know your married friends are your longest companions and I know that they may not approve of a group of new single friends, but trying to fond a date alone can be a lot harder than seeing a date with a group of like minded friends. In other words, there is confidence and safety when socializing in numbers. This will in turn open up new places and venues for you to visit. Your confidence levels may well increase exponentially too.
You can find new single friends everywhere. They are at work, close to home, at your clubs in your gym. You simply need to make some new friends and then join in. It is not as hard as you think. If you sat at home you will not find them, if you go out you will. When was the last time you phoned your old friends to catch up? Go do it now.
Join a Club
Activities really do bring people together and create new friends. If you are involved in something like a craft, or hobby, or sport then you are with like minded people already. You have something in common and it is a great icebreaker. If you are not a member of any club then consider what you are interested in and then consider if such an activity will introduce you to others. In most cases it will do. And consider this, there are many people also looking for a date who are also joining clubs for the same reason.
Join a Dating Agency
Dating agencies used to have a stigma attached but not anymore. Now its extremely fashionable finding a date online. Well your friends may suggest this is crazy but why is it? What do they know about it anyway? Nothing, exactly! Dating and finding a date is fun and very enjoyable. After all dating is about meeting new people and searching for a special connection. Dating agencies fall into two camps; traditional and Internet. The first are those traditional dating agencies which help you find a date but charge many hundreds of dollars to offer you the chance of meeting a few people they have manually matched you with in their database. They will then offer you the chance of meeting that person if both agree. It’s slow and long winded but it does work sometimes, though rarely are there guarantees of any kind. The main thing about such dating agencies is that they are often specialized in a certain area, maybe profession or financial level e.t.c Some may concentrate on the medical or legal profession; others may focus on say, executives in a certain region.
Internet Dating Agencies

The second kind of agency is the professional Internet dating and friendship agency accessible from your home PC. Most often, Like True, they are free to register with so that you can see who is in their database. The beauty of Internet dating agencies is that they are instantly accessible and you can search people you match with in private and comfort without spending a penny. You can view online photo Personals to help you find a date and you can take your time.

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LOVE SICK ON A NEW ROMANCE

It doesn't get more unstable than this. You feel sick, you can't eat, you don't know what you are thinking and feeling, but you are thinking excessively. You feel happy, you feel sad, you feel unsettled, you worry, you are ecstatic. You want to panic and wish you had said no. What's happening to you? You are in your first four weeks of dating someone.

The first thing that can happen with a date is that you feel trepidation before the event. You may have had lots of dates and expect little but are pleasantly surprised. You may have been building up to the date and its gone really well and you are surprised, pleasantly. You may actually feel unhappy and irritated that a first date went well because now you have to give some thought to the situation. Initially then you need to decide if you are going to take it further or whether last night's promises and optimism has changed in the cold light of day. For almost everyone, however good or bad you will feel some trepidation, even if you are walking on the moon.

For many, the days after a first date that went really well will make you feel great. You feel desired, attractive and you realize that someone really likes you who you are attracted to. But - until you have secured a second date you will still feel like you have got it all wrong and that you are mistaken. When that second date is finalized you will again feel great and this is a real test because this time you will be analyzing each other more thoroughly and testing each other in verbal interplay and emotional content in your conversation. Your reliability and your wit will be tested as well as many other extremely subtle facets of your character. At this stage you most certainly should not have had sex!

After the second date is where panic can set in. If you really like this person you will panic and worry that you can lose them before anything has even got going. On the other hand you may like them and panic that it could all be too much too soon and wish to run without finding out. So this is where disaster can begin to intervene on a perfect future. You can quickly come across as overbearing and possessive, even though you haven't got into a relationship yet. So stop calling and stop pondering and ensure you carry on as best u can with a routine. In other words, back off and be cool. Take your time and stop panicking. If you are going to go out, then you will but don't rush it.

If, on the other hand, you are simply not sure about looming intimacy then again take your time and be cool. The pleasure in the first few weeks of dating is in its turmoil and its passion but also in savoring every moment. In a long term relationship these are days hard to repeat so take in the atmosphere of knowing someone new and enjoy the encounters as they happen. A new relationship doesn't have to lead to marriage and commitment so stop thinking too much and simply enjoy your dates as they happen.

There will be many dilemmas in the first few weeks such as your first kiss, where you should go on dates, whether you should phone, what happens if they didn't call when expected, concern things are over already. The you will move on to whether you should invite them in for coffee, what happens if you want to go to bed with them or what happens as your emotions increase. Once again it is about trying to keep the basics in perspective. Your entire day-to-day life can be affected by beginning to like someone and fall in love so the only thing that gives you any structure is your regular daily pattern. Because of this it is crucial to keep as many things regular as possible. Try and sustain your daily regime, including clubs, hobbies and trips to the gym. However one of the beautiful aspects of this initial period is the breaking of that regime to find small intense emotional moments with your new friend.

People often ask me when a date becomes a relationship and I have answered that more fully in a different article but to my own mind the first 4 weeks are crucial in creating a basic foundation on which you can both develop into a relationships. You will have progressed from first date to hopefully. If you live close by you may have stopped counting by now. I can understand that circumstances may prevent regular dating for some, but I do think that if you are wanting a serious relationship to develop, proximity is helpful. In 4 weeks of dating you should have been dating plenty of times and be getting to know the beginnings of each other.

Where dating is very very slow then there is a danger it will never actually fire the main engines for lift off so I actively encourage people to make the most of the dating opportunities presented. You see, when you really like someone, you want to be with them, you want to spend all your time with them to get to know them and understand them and learn to fall in love with them. For this to happen you have to meet very regularly to build up that level of intimacy otherwise you may be wasting your time.

The first 4 weeks are critical as they are the testing time. If you get through this initial period you have a chance of building into a relationship. In my view it is too soon for sex if you are serious but too long for just a couple of meetings. It is the perfect time frame to know whether you are fairly compatible above and beyond the initial physical attraction. A month of dating is a month of happy events and phone calls and memories. If in that period things aren't working out, then you can walk away with no harm done.

You may feel sick and you may feel unsteady, but when we all look back and try and describe what being in love is like, most of us tend to remember the first four weeks when we met and use those feelings to describe how beautifully unsettling everything truly is.

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HOW TO FIND YOUR SOUL MATE

Some believe that your destiny will bring you to your soul mate like a magnet pulls metal. Your life will create a series of experiences that will lead you almost innocently to that vital part that will make your life complete. Unfortunately, there is no formula for finding your soul mate. We can only prepare ourselves to recognize that special person when we meet him or her. The preparation is really the key to how soon you can find that person.

For this, one must prepare to give oneself away to others and develop a never ending steam of trust within yourself so that you can accept everyone you meet without judgments or fear. Some believe that if one looks deep inside the eyes of another person with complete acceptance and love, one can create new levels of intimacy and spiritual bonding. It is during this quest, where we treat every individual as a potential soul mate, that we will eventually find the one that we are looking for.
Some people confuse this discovery as an endeavor to look for the ultimate romantic partner. Finding your soul mate is a search for wholeness or completion. It may lead to a physical union but it is much beyond mere physical desire. You can feel attracted to many others, but there could only be one person who will fit in perfectly to complete the puzzle of your life.

If you can learn to love unconditionally, abandon yourself to your spiritual desires and accept wholeheartedly the people that God sends in our lives everyday, you will find your soul mate without any doubt.

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HOT TO FALL IN LOVE NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE THINK

Would you like to fall in love? In spite of what everyone else says, do you want to believe love is out there for you? Have you heard how all the good ones are gone, no one wants to make a commitment these days, and everyone is married?

There are lots of negative voices that will tell you that love might exist but you will probably never find it. Don't believe them. Here are some of the ways you can fight off the messengers of hollow hope:
* Stay away from conversations that lead to conclusions of hopelessness.
Just because that is someone else's opinion doesn't mean it has to be yours. Look for conversations of possibility that start with words like, "I can," and "I will."
* Resist being manipulated by the media.
The media may whisper or scream that you need to look or act in a certain way in order to attract someone. People who are overweight, bald, past the age of 50 or more, driving a late model car, or wearing '60s polyester suits meet and fall in love every day. So can you.
* Pay attention to selective exposure.
People who feel and think the same way begin to believe that this collective viewpoint is a law. If you think there is no one out there for you and you have gathered unto yourself five or ten friends who think the same way, then you are going to be rooted in this belief, and you will act accordingly. Make a conscious effort to find and hang out with friends who have a belief of possibility and hope.

Build a bank of people who can resist the voices that say all the good ones are gone. In fact, the next time you hear that phrase, stand up and be heard say, "All the good ones can not possibly be gone I'm still here!"

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HOT TIPS ON HOW TO KISS YOUR LOVER

A kiss is the most basic, yet most important step – some say it's even more meaningful than sex – to expressing feelings of affection between a man and a woman. Since it is the most fundamental aspect of a physical relationship, it is essential that men learn the necessary etiquette when it comes to kissing.

So, what is there to learn about how to impress your woman?

Do not Let Your Feelings Overtake You
There is a saying that a man loses his senses after four drinks and a woman loses hers after four kisses. For women, creating a perfect mood for a kiss is just as important, if not more, as the perfect kiss. Men are less concerned about the mood as they are concerned about the actual kiss. That's why so many men make the most horrendous mistake of forcing themselves into their respectful lady to satisfy their desire and to express their love. If you are truly serious about the perfect kiss, then create the perfect mood first.
Do not Rush
As mentioned above, men are often led into thinking that masculinity – strength, forcefulness, abruptness – is what makes them man. Women may be weaker than men in terms of physical strength, but when they are determined that they will not give in, no man can force them into kissing.

If you force your way into kissing, assuming that she, too, is ready and is craving for it when in fact she is not, you risk turning her off. Don't rush and study her carefully. Listen to what she says and watch how she moves until you know it's the right time.
Watch Your Tongue
You love her desperately, but there is no sign of such level of affection on her part. First, create the perfect mood for the kiss. Second, target her tongue. Women are especially sensitive to a French kiss and when she feels the touch of your tongue with her own, she feels that she has given something so meaningful and valuable to you.

At that moment, your tongue can mean the world to her. There is no way that she cannot fall in love with you.
Give Her a Chance

You will never succeed in kissing when it is a one way play. There must be this subtle game of give and take, which makes it all the more sweet and mesmerizing. If you want to enjoy this game, give her a chance to enter the game.

If you put your tongue inside her mouth and stay there without knowing what to do – like a child lost in amusement park – she feels the sudden urge to take over the game.
Softness
Strength is not the only thing that gives pleasure. You must be soft and gentle when you kiss. Men often make the mistake of giving into their own feelings all too easily when they kiss, thereby making woman feel like something is being forced into her.

Be gentle and always watch how she is reacting. Always control your tempo.
Close Your Eyes
It's not a rule, but you should always close your eyes when you kiss. When you leave your eyes open, you lose concentration and you might be led into thinking about other things, which she will eventually notice. Besides, wouldn't you naturally close your eyes when you kiss?
Fresh Breath
Now matter how much she loves you, you are an immediate turnoff when she is met by stinky breath at what is supposed to be a very romantic and memorable moment. Always carry mouthwash or gum – strawberry candy is also good – for the perfect moment.
Be Comfortable With Your Hands
If it's your first kiss with her, you are very likely to be awkward with your posture while you are kissing. The most natural way is to put your hands around her waist or her back.
practice makes perfect
So you've met the perfect moment and all you need to do is to turn those few minutes into an eternity for both her and yourself. We've all dreamed of our first kiss and imagined how it's going to feel, and most of us have already put that into a test.

For those who have not yet experienced the magic of a first kiss, keep in mind that the aforementioned advice is a definite asset.

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