Welcome to
Marriage Counseling Virginia Beach!
I want to grab your attention pretty quickly here so the following comment may surprise you:
Most Marriage Counselors do not want to fix your marriage, at least not anytime soon. The same is true for family therapists and counselors, couples counselors or any type of therapist really, and why would they?
Once you are “all better” that spells the end of a very nice income they were receiving from you so the longer they can keep you exploring why you marriage is not working out, the better, trust me on this.
So here is the thing. I myself went to marriage counseling several years ago and that 12 year marriage still ended in divorce.
When we first went to see our licensed therapist, our relationship was on the rocks and in very real danger of sinking, and quick too!
I remember our first assessment session like it was yesterday. Our counselor listened to us for a bit after asking what our main problem with each other was. A sense of relief washed over me when I noticed our therapist give my wife an odd look when she said something that was so obviously out of whack that I just knew he would jump in there and say, whoa, back up a bit there.
I was like, YES, finally someone besides me is going to tell her she is wrong and maybe she will actually listen to him before it is too late.
Nope.
He just let her keep talking and said that each person has their own viewpoint about what is going on and that we would need to talk about it further and set us up to come back each week, at a $100 a pop. He also said we needed to go to the bookstore and pick up a book on relationships he recommended and do some lame homework assignment he gave us.
Needless to say I was pretty upset about all this and clearly saw through what was going on. He could have interupted my wife when she made that comment and said that he was sure both parties shared the responsibility in where the relationship now found itself but that what she had just said was wrong and we needed to get that addressed immediately.
She would have listened to him but she came away from the counseling session with the impression that the therapist agreed with her side of the story because he had not argued against it.
We were divorced less than a year later.
Note: Before we go on talking about how we can help you, I realize some folks are resistant to actually talk to someone about their marriage troubles and you may have a hard time convincing your spouse to do so. If you would like to try a great program you can do from home that has reapired countless broken marriages you may want to check out this post: DIY Marriage Counseling
Okay, back to the business at hand. You may be asking yourself why would you want to listen to or take the advice from a counselor who went through a failed marriage himself and admits that most counselors are in it for the money?
Heck, you can even through in the fact that I am not licensed in the traditional way nor are my methods in restoring your relationship traditional either.
Now, before you click away, we do have two fully licensed therapists here to help you should the need arise. However, I don’t believe that is where a couple should begin and of course once you set yourself up with a licensed therapist you have to pay.
Your insurance will most likely cover this but back when my wife and I needed counseling, my insurance rates went up when they saw that we had gone to see a therapist and put in a claim for it.
Insurance companies know that this is going to be a long and very expensive process, once again verifying the motives of the psychiatric field.
Now, how can I offer counseling services if I am not properly licensed by the state to do so? Good question.
Well, after my very ugly and painful divorce, I decided to try and find a higher meaning to my life and that led me to studying the bible quite a bit and I became an ordained minister.
Okay, once again, before you click away saying that you are not looking for Christian counseling let me tell you why that might be exactly what you are looking for.
Christian counseling is not regulated by the state and therefore all that expensive red tape that binds up an actual counselor does not apply to us. We also do not charge for our services and therefore do not need to be tempted into stretching out your therapy.
We simply ask for a donation if you are satisfied with our results. We don’t even for it right then which would make you feel guilty if you do not pay us something. Nope, you go home and think it over and if you want to help us keep helping people you send us what you can.
So, that is pretty cool, but what if there is a real “psychological” issue that needs to be addressed, can a Christian counselor do that?
No, and that is why we have access to the two aforementioned fully licensed and certified marriage and family counselors available to you. In fact, one is my sister and the other is her husband so I know they will do a great job!
Now, they certainly would argue my claims that therapists are driven by money, but I did say, MOST therapist, not all. If you need the type of help they can offer you will be in excellent, compassionate and very capable hands.
However, in my experinence, most couples do not need this level of therapy. And don’t let the Christian part of all this stop you either. I’m not a holy roller looking to convert you or condemn how you are living your life… In fact, I’d be a hypocrite if I did that.
Also, we do not subscribe to the “wives submit to your husband” rant so many Christian counselors use to try and save marriages. By the way, Christian marriages are just as likely to fail as any other and most Christian couples will seek counsel when their marriage is in trouble so obviously they are getting the wrong advice.
The bible does not say,
“wives submit to your husband” or at least the original text didn’t. In fact, that famous passage has a note that the interpreters from Greek to English added the word submit to make it read easier and in fact the proper translation is “wives be private and separate to your husbands as unto the lord.”
That’s a whole lot different than what most preachers preach, isn’t it?
Anyway, there are a lot of myths and mistakes and improper teaching going on by Christian counselors who really do not know any better.
But what if you do not believe in God or you have a spouse who is resistant to biblical based counseling?
Truth be told, unless you actually knew I was a minister, you would never know it, unless you specifically stated that you wanted the focus of your therapy to be bible based. As I said, no holy rolling going on around here, just the truth.
Anyway, I know I can help you and what would it hurt to check us out?
If after spending a little time here at
Marriage Counselors Virginia Beach you feel the time was wasted, at least you did not have to pay for it! In all honesty though I can say with confidence you will actually enjoy your time with us and see incredible value in it… Remember, we don’t get paid unless you see value in what we are offering you.
And what we offer is a bridge over the troubled waters your experiencing in your marriage and we do it with compassion and a conviction to help. Won’t you give us a call today and speak with us about how we may be able to help you and your partner? You’ll be so glad that you did!
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6:45 AM
Amandeep
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