Commit Yourself To Making Your Marriage Healthy

Do you remember when you first got married?  Do you remember what the honeymoon was like?  Seems like a long time ago, eh?  Perhaps when you think back like this it feels like you were married to someone else.  And of course people do change, no doubt about it…

But it’s precisely for this reason—that people do change—that you can have hope for your marriage.  But in order to see that through, you need to take a proactive role (regardless of who is at fault for what).  You need to take the bull by the horns…

And it all starts with one little word…

Vision.

For our purposes, vision is nothing more than being able to clearly see the desired end.  Vision is closing your eyes and imagining a happy marriage once again.  Vision is believing that the picture in your mind’s eye will undoubtedly become reality once again.  And just to reiterate something I said before…I’m not advocating the power of positive thinking or some psychological BS – clearly you need more than vision in order to save your marriage, but you still need vision nonetheless.

Without vision, it’s hard to see the goal, that desired end state.  And when we have trouble picturing the end state, our motivation is bound to become lax.

The right vision is going to be the foundation of your commitment to making your marriage healthy.

If your goal right now is only to stop what looks like an inevitable divorce, you need to raise your standards!  If your goal is to simply survive and “save your marriage”, you need to shoot higher!  Don’t get me wrong, those are not bad goals to have…  But in order to really turn your marriage around and literally get it going in the opposite direction—you’re going to need to aim high.

Let me close out this UMBA by giving you a practical suggestion –

Rewrite your wedding vows.

Notice too I didn’t say “write them out” or “write them again”.  I said “rewrite” them.  In other words, take some time to think of brand new vows to your spouse and write them down with pen and paper.  It would be best if you and your spouse can do this together, but if not it’s still worth doing the exercise yourself.  You’ll be amazed how much just this one exercise will do to refocus your commitment.